29 March 2008

Black Dog Days

Well, for all the exercise I'm now doing and for all the sensible choices and care (mostly) I now take with the food I'm eating, my weight and waist size have stayed determinedly static for several weeks now. I've just spent yet another long, tiring, fruitless day attempting (and failing dismally) to buy some new trousers for work and a pair of jeans for weekends. Hated everything I tried on, and have ended up hating myself.

To say I'm fed up is a major understatement! Hubby is trying to encourage me but I'm in need of a serious kick up the pants.

In an effort to re-motivate myself, lets try being logical about this situation, and see some positives.

Right, my fitness has improved beyond belief - no longer need an inhaler for the asthma, can lift both feet off the floor when laying on my back (a major achievement), walking is never an effort these days, the Chi Kung is fine, gym (although a challenge) is do-able and mainly enjoyable. Fine, this is a definitely a plus.

Weight - although it's hanging at just above 80kg, this is soooo much better than where I started. I have, after all, lost at least three stone. Yes, there's still a whole helluva long way to go but, OK, another tick in the plus box.

Shape is where things are still rather awry. For all the exercise and work to build muscle, my horrible, pendulous belly is still the size of Iceland! Yes, OK, alright, it used to be the size of Sweden but I just want it gone! Oh dear God, now the fat lass is whining!

So, take a look back at some photos from last summer - yes, I can see a change. Actually, I'll be prepared to admit that it's quite a big change. Trouble is, when I look in the mirror I still see something I'm really not happy with. How can I focus on the good stuff and filter out the negative side?

Suggestions on a postcard please?


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