A new approach... for me too

Well, the ongoing trial of low carb living seems to be going well for lovely hubby. His body has happily switched to ketosis (we've checked with Ketostix) so he's now using fats as a primary energy source. His blood glucose levels (without the aid of Metformin) remain admirable, he's now off all his old blood pressure medication and there's just a statin to kick into touch... er, if we can persuade the GP!

Amazingly enough, for a former carb-hound who loved his bread, pasta, white rice and potatoes, he isn't finding it hard to do at all. In fact, he's not really missing the carbs (most of the time), and he's enjoying and feeling satisfied with the foods he's eating.

However, I was beginning to find things a bit of a challenge, as I started to feel rather torn between keeping on with eating the way I've been doing to maintain my weight loss and trying to incorporate some of the requirements of low carb into shared meals.

The problem has come about as I've still been eating some unrefined carbs as normal (e.g. my daily beloved porridge oats) and also trying to stay fairly low fat. Counter to this, we've been trying to increase lovely hubby's fat intake to slow/stop/reverse his continuing weight loss which is getting a tad dramatic. With both dietary approaches on the go, this was becoming less easily sustainable for me.

So, a decision has been made and, as of this weekend, I'm starting down the road of adopting the low carb approach rather more 'fervently' myself. Yep, I am aware that the blood glucose effects are not relevant to me in the same way as they are to my man, but the more reading I do (especially relating to the science of low carb living) the more convinced I'm becoming that it is a healthy way of life for someone without Type 2 diabetes too.

So, I'm now in that initial metabolic changeover period, waiting for my body to figure out that it needs to use fats rather than glucose as it's primary energy source. Once the Ketostix tell me it's got it's act together life 'should' become a wee bit easier (pardon the pun - just couldn't help myself!).

I'm happy where I am so don't really want to lose any more weight, but neither do I want the scales to creep up. So, for now, I'm not adding in the additional fats as we are doing for hubby... well, not just yet anyway... and will rely on the scales to tell me how I'm doing.

So, for breakfast this morning we each tucked into half an avocado, chopped tomatoes and lettuce with black pepper, lemon juice and a drizzle of olive oil, a few olives, some feta cheese and a plum, with a Greek yoghurt and pesto dip and ground flax seeds. 

Looks nice, huh? I have to say, it was both filling and delicious!

Restart?... Reinvention?... Whatever!

OK, lots of thinking has passed under my bridge - all about where I am, what I like and dislike and what I want. The result? I finally have a plan to work to again.

The decision is made - I do indeed want to shed a few more of those pesky pounds. Ah well now, if I'm being absolutely honest (and that is the only way to be, my dear fat lass), what I actually want isn't so much a lower number on the scale (although that'd be quite nice) or a smaller dress size, but to rid myself of that unpleasing spongy blobbiness which resides just south of the old belly button.

It isn't just loose skin, you see. Somewhere underneath it there is actually some moderately firmish muscley stuff, just yearning to see the light of day. Trouble is, not only is there that flap of leftover skin on top to contend with, but the apron still holds my secret stocks of FAT, or BLUBBER, call it what you like... probably just in case I get stuck in a blizzard or marooned on a desert island for a month or more.

Loose skin is one thing, but the apron-filling is... er, let's just say not my best feature. So yep, I have YOU in my sights, flabby apron - you'd better watch out!

That said, it's a bit of an airy-fairy, woolly sort of goal, isn't it... doing 'something' to diminish the belly. Hmmm, that way lies failure so a 'firm' plan is called for (if you'll pardon the pun). Sorry to lapse into the dreaded management-speak but it needs to be a SMART goal - specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely. Nothing nebulous about it, so I don't have any excuse to just bimble along where I am any longer.

So, I've set myself a specific and measurable target of reaching 57 kg (that's 126 lbs or 9 stone 0 lbs). I think this should be both attainable and realistic and ought to help with the apron. 

OK, so I weigh in at 61 kg this morning or 9 stone 8 lbs (grrr, hiss, spit, dammit - that's gone up and I'm both shocked and none too pleased that it is darned well higher than last week!). But don't despair, fat lass. It's got a lot to do with that stressful week/weekend (long story) and if you keep your head the damage isn't irreparable (sigh... and it was supposed to be a nice neat half-stone loss... ho hum).

Anyhow, that just leaves the timely part to deal with. I'm going to aim for a 1lb loss per week. More would be lovely but just not realistic at all. By my shaky maths, in eight weeks time, say by the end of the second week of November (OK, by the 15th if you want to be picky) if I pull my finger out, I should be able to report that I've hit the 57 kg mark. I'll tell you up front, it's going to be an 'interesting' challenge with two birthdays, an anniversary and a holiday to contend with (week six is going to be a doozy!), but what the heck.

Reading this back, with those events on the horizon it actually seems quite ambitious so I'm going to insert a way-point about halfway through to make it seem an bit less big and scary. Sooo, by the time the holiday rolls around I'm looking to be down to 59 kg. Oh dear. Is that rational thinking or a cop out? Hmmm, not sure yet.

Then the plan is onwards, ever downwards from there to 57 kg.

The next step is the 'how to' and, to remind myself, I've looked back at my original 'rules of engagement' and picked out those critical points that apply to me now as much as they did back then.
These were to:
* think before I eat (OK, I mostly do this but... soooo, fatty, do you really, really want it?)
* watch that stress (remember, upsets should not translate into 'eat me' time)
* eat mindfully (take time to enjoy each mouthful... and no like it = ditch it)
* reduce those portions (sure they are much smaller, but they could be tweaked)
* cut down on the salt intake (it has crept up a bit again!)
* cut down on the alcohol I drink (no, it's never much in a week but...)

And as far as exercise is concerned, and looking back to what has worked for me in the past....  every day I WILL:
* get on the rower (minimum 300 strokes - build up if the early morning rush permits)
* do a full set of abs crunches (oooh yes, every last one of 'em)
* beat 10,000 steps walking (OK, so where did I put that pedometer?)
I'll hunt around for an exercise evening class I like too. I fancy something 'different' and fun - maybe weights related. By the way, I'd welcome suggestions for other ways to target that belly too.

Then we'll see what the apron looks like at the new weight. Yes, I do know it won't disappear altogether, but if I'm happy(ish) with it and there's a chance I can wear those darned Levis I'll ease off, see how things go and whether I can maintain there. If still unhappy with the apron, then I may look at going for shedding a few pounds more. Who knows... the world is my oyster... or maybe a scallop or a cockle? In any case, it's my bivalve :-)

So..., in the epic words of Frankie Laine, "Move 'em out, head 'em up, head 'em up, move 'em on"

Building on the good start

You can do it! Oh yes, dear old fat lass, you can. Using the 'consistency and mindfulness' you talked about last time, one day at a time, for the rest of this week you - OK, enough - this is about 'me' and should really say 'I', so here goes...
I can make the right choices to continue and build on the good start I made last week.

Let's get those eyes focused firmly on my next goal. The scales reported some progress this morning, and I'm down to 63.5kg again (the fat lass waves a jolly, brightly-coloured flag and takes a bow).

That's marvellous, and has put some nice firm foundations in place, but I mustn't let a little victory like this make me think I can rest on my laurels. I already know that I'm struggling with the emotional side of life right now so I'm right in the danger zone for resorting to 'a little treat' to make me feel better. That just won't do at all - it's time to get serious again!

So, the plan for the rest of this week...

Every morning I WILL get on the rower (for a minimum 300 strokes)
Every morning I WILL do a full set of abs crunches (yes, all of them)
Every day I WILL beat 10,000 steps (walking at lunchtime is the key)
Tonight I WILL go to Chi Kung (actually, I can hardly wait)
Every day I WILL take time to enjoy what I put in my mouth (no like it = bin it)
Every day I WILL drink and refill my water bottle at least twice

Let's see where that get me by this time next week.

Ditch those carbs and move that butt!

Why do I do this to myself? Stress really isn't a good enough excuse, is it!

Oh blast it, hell and other rude words. Last week was an absolute nightmare. It was a nasty, ill-tempered, angst- and worry-filled week and I'm really glad it is over. But, last week's bad news continues to roll over into this week because I have paid the (all too well-deserved) price for the poor choices I made. The scales shocked me on Monday morning when I found I had whizzed right back up to a thumping 66kg! Dammit, dammit, dammit.

I do, needless to say, have a fair inkling as to 'how' this extra weight arrived about my person.

Part of the gain is down to a period of semi-hibernation. Sure it was cold, OK it was a bad week. But, no getting around it, I was decidedly lazy and spent a whole week early to bed, late to rise - telling myself (and lovely hubby) that I was tired. My exercise plans took a back seat, so the fat lass has found that her 'seat' expands!

Then, looking back through my food diary (a miracle I kept it going last week!) I noticed a bit of a trend. A trend, that is, in addition to the large portion sizes and the obvious 'sins' I knew about even as I ate them. Last week I ate lots more carbohydrates than I usually ever do. Comfort foods again. Mainly in the form of bread, although some mashed potato, white rice and the odd cake/cookie slipped in there too.

Good bread (especially seedy, wholemeal bread) is one of my lifelong passions and, whilst I no longer compound my sins by adding butter/spread/etc. to bread, I still need to be really, REALLY careful about the amount I allow myself. It is oh so easy for me to get completely carried away - and don't even go down the route of bread still warm from the oven! Last week, bread 'in moderation' was not in my lexicon. Learn from this, fat lass, or rather 're-learn'. You used to 'get it' - so why aren't you 'getting it' now?

I also noticed that alcohol featured rather more prominently in the last week than is usually the case... er, just a wee drop to help me sleep! Well now, some vigorous exercise would have done the job rather more effectively, wouldn't it?

So, this week has started back on the road towards losing those, and some more, pounds. The rules are simple so I just need to remind myself of them and get back to 'doing it'.

Bread has been replaced (in the main) by chopped up fresh veggie sticks.

Alcohol has been replaced by a relaxing evening cup of herbal or orange tea.

Exercise has re-commenced, in earnest - walking, rowing, salsacise for now, and a return to the gym as soon as I can get my flabby 'seat' there.

Let's get that needle moving down again!

Craving busters

Hmmm, I'm not sure if this is a good idea long-term, but I'll share it anyway and let you know if I change my mind.

Even given my porridge breakfasts, which I love but which don't keep me full all morning, I've struggled recently with a 'fake hunger' or odd cravings mid- to late-morning and found it quite hard to keep myself on track. I'm not at all happy about this as it threatens to derail the progress I've made or, at best, slow down the progress I'm making at the moment. So I've given it some thought, and identified a couple of things that may help me to kick those dreaded 'I want something nice, and I want it right now' cravings right where they hurt.

For me, something which is definitely strongly flavoured and usually not too sweet is where my cravings want to take me. So, apart from those 'want chocolate' days (which are generally time of month related and for which I haven't found a good substitute... yet!) something savoury and/or salty is often what I would naturally gravitate towards. This puts the dreaded crisps and savoury snacks (especially the stronger flavoured ones, like garlic or chilli) and salted nuts firmly in the frame - and they're not a good choice. Why? Well, what do they generally have, other than strong flavours and salt? Loads of fats, so loads of calories (often well in excess of 500kcal per 100g), and once you start off with 'just one' from a packet, the rest seem to evaporate!

So what should I choose that will satisfy the cravings, that I can eat only a little of at one time, that isn't excessively high in calories (although if can only eat a little and be satisfied, this is up for negotiation) and is readily available so that I can keep a little stock at work?

My two (proposed) craving busters are:

Single salt liquorice (either Belgian or Dutch ones are good)
Like these Belgian ones

These weigh in at about 300kcal per 100g, and 100g gives you in the region of 32 or 33 of the little lozenge-shaped beauties, so around 9kcal per lozenge. The best ones are the harder type - the softer ones disappear far too fast. With the harder ones I cannot generally eat more than two in one session!

Dark chocolate covered coffee beans
Like the ones from Caffe Nero (sorry chaps, can't find a way to include the accent!)

These weigh in at about 469kcal per 100g so don't sound quite such a good idea, but they are sold in little 25g boxes, with around 18 or 19 beans inside. This makes them about 6.5kcal per bean, and I can usually stop myself after three or four.

OK, these aren't really savoury, but they aren't sweet either. Given the bit of a chocolate coating, these may also combat the 'want chocolate' cravings - watch this space.

Add to this, my old favourites of herbal teas, fruit and Ryvita, and you never know, I might just be on to something. Maybe it's time to go shopping?

This fits in with a number of my original 'rules of engagement', which were to:

• think before I eat - make active choices, not just follow old habits
• eat much more slowly and take time to enjoy the food in front of me
• eat only what I'm actually enjoying (not liking it = leave it)
• reduce the portions I dish up (get a smaller plate)
• choose with common sense - swap high fat foods with healthier options (same goes for sugars)
• cut down on the salt I'm eating (by a lot!)
• cut down the alcohol I drink each week (and increase my water intake)
• drink fruit teas more often
• increase the amount of fruit and veg I eat - I like the stuff for heaven's sake!
• pick some really nice fruit for those little snacks, not crisps or biscuits

Black Dog's still howling

Last night things got worse, a whole lot worse. We'd been given a box of chocolates a while ago and were just having one (or maybe two) of an evening, not every evening at that - being sensible and making them last. Until last night, that is.

Firstly there was the bottom layer - untouched, complete. And then there was the box - empty! Yes, we ate the lot.

Did I enjoy them? Well, no, not really. How did I feel afterwards? Appalled, guilty, overly full heading towards slightly sick, with a raging thirst and a sore mouth.

Oh boy, when I fall off the wagon I make a proper job of it. The only good thing is that they're gone - can't do it again!

Then there was the gym today. It didn't start at all well as, once I'd done my 5 minute warm-up, I got on the cross-trainer, set the resistance and incline then barely managed five minutes on it before I felt weak as a kitten and couldn't go on. Not a great confidence booster.

Hubby suggested I used the rower for some of my CV work instead. This was better but, even so, it was much harder than normal and I ended up dripping in sweat and feeling like a wet dishrag. I did persevere with the cardio stuff and got on the stepper, managing my fifteen minutes but my legs shook something awful when I got to the end.

In contrast, hubby was really pleased with how easily his CV work had gone - he'd found it a breeze today. I was really happy for him but this wasn't really a great moment for me to hear it. Just wanted to go home.

At that point I was close to tears (OK, in tears if I'm honest) but started the weights stuff anyway. I really didn't want to go on but I'm not good at failing. Thankfully, after a first (very hard) set on the chest press I got angry. In fact, cross out angry - I got furious.

Upped the weights on the next couple of stations and then reached the leg press. I've been doing my set at 150lbs (yes John, I know you said 100lbs but that is not enough of a challenge). Today I did it at 170lbs and was still angry. So I did another set at 190lbs - just to prove I could! I'll probably feel it tomorrow but what the hell.

Finished off the weights part and on to the core work - still pretty hyped up and tetchy. Did more than the usual and tried a couple of harder exercises too. Managed some (but not others) but had finally tired out my temper enough to do the stretches and head for the showers.

I need to get back on an even keel. Take a long look back at the house rules I set for myself last June, and stick with them. One of these was:

I'll try to remember not to kick myself too hard or for too long if (and when) I fall off the wagon. It won't be a total disaster - just have to get back up and start again.

I just cannot give up now - however hard it seems at the moment.

Ooooh, I'm feeling the gym!

Well, I thought I'd ache a bit after Thursday night's gym session. In the morning on Friday though, not a bit. "Hey that's great", I thought.

Still did my rowing and abs stuff in the morning and actually added in some of the core exercises John showed me. Clocked up around 2 hours walking too - a good day. Felt absolutely fine.... until about 8.30 in the evening when just about every muscle I possess (and a few I didn't know existed) ganged up on me. Hell, I felt like a 90 year old!

Enthusiasm has got the better of me I guess. I need to remember one of my rules (see the start of this blog) and don't go mad at the beginning - just work up slowly. I will keep up the exercise at home, but maybe leave the gym until Sunday, not launch in there again today.

Some house rules

This will not be a diet - they just don't work for me, as the last twenty years have shown all too well. By calling something a 'diet' it suggests this is a temporary state and that business as usual will return at the end of the dieting period. Every time I've dieted and lost some weight before, this is exactly what has happened at the end of the diet and the pounds (and stones!) have just piled back on later, usually bringing their mates along too.

This is re-training pure and simple, and should shape me and my habits for life - no more quick fix disasters.

On the subject of eating - from now on I will :-

• think before I eat - make active choices, not just follow old habits
  
• eat much more slowly and take time to enjoy the food in front of me
• eat only what I'm actually enjoying (not liking it = leave it)
• reduce the portions I dish up (get a smaller plate)
  
• choose with common sense - swap high fat foods with healthier options (and the same goes for sugars)
• cut down on the salt I'm eating (by a lot!)
• cut down the alcohol I drink each week (and increase my water intake)
• drink fruit teas more often
  
• increase the amount of fruit and veg I eat - I like the stuff for heaven's sake!
• pick some really nice fruit for those little snacks, not crisps or biscuits

I will allow myself occasional treats. So, no 'banned' foods for me this time around - if I really, really want to eat something, even if it's based on clotted cream and a sugar overdose, then fine... BUT a small amount of it only and taking time to actually enjoy the process of eating it.

I'll try to remember not to kick myself too hard or for too long if (and when) I fall off the wagon. It won't be a total disaster - just have to get back up and start again.

And then there's the big one for me - exercise!

Time to get back on the rowing machine - and stick at it this time. This means starting off for a short time and building up gradually - not trying to be Steve Redgrave on day one and giving up in disgust by day three!

Being more active means getting off the bus one stop early and walking just a little bit more. Once that feels normal - step it up some more, get off two stops early or find other ways to increase the walking.

It's about time I looked at an evening class of some type - maybe not step aerobics (tried it, hated it, stopped going!) or circuit training just yet, but something to get me moving more. It must be something I can enjoy or I'll end up dropping out and feeling like a failure again. Thinking cap on!