26 February 2009

Good days and bad

Although I was out of the office, so away from any normal routine, yesterday was a good one.

I managed a fair amount of walking and was quite active (that's putting it mildly) at odd times during the day. I ate sensibly (a grilled chicken breast with a small serving of roast veg, followed by an orange for lunch) and only conceded two biscuits at coffee break. Even then, I managed to avoid the chocolate ones. The high-point was briefly meeting one of my heroines, the travel writer Christina Dodwell. What a fascinating life she had led and what a positive, inspirational woman she is.

Dinner was pretty good, being a jacket spud with half a tin of soya beans (in some unidentifiable red gloop), some grated carrot and a dollop of low fat Philly cheese. This sensible behaviour was somewhat marred by stopping for a pint of bitter on the way home, but it had been a busy day.

But, unfortunately, the evening brought less than positive news and, as a consequence, sleep was rather disrupted again and today is proving difficult. I'm tired, shaky, close to being weepy at times and have minimal patience again. This is not good - for me or for the poor unfortunates around me.

I haven't gone for chocolate or cake or biscuits (praise be), but did eat two granary sunflower seed rolls at lunchtime, rather than sensibly stopping at one. Both were delicately smeared with a thin(ish) layer of Philly with black pepper and that peppery heat really hit the spot. Not brilliant, but not a total dietary disaster either.

I've also demolished an orange, an apple, a fat-free yoghurt and nibbled five of those Oatibix bites during the day and am aware of a constant, nagging 'want'. Not for anything specific, just for the nebulous 'something nice'. This is definitely a 'cry for comfort' hunger and knowing that has helped restrain me to some extent.

I'm just off for a bit of a walk in the fresh air and will keep trying to be level-headed this evening. What my inner fat lass wants to do is stuff my worries off the face of the earth by eating. But this fat lass isn't going to.


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