22 September 2009

Thinking positively

I started an evening class last night at my local college. It's called 'Positive Thinking' and, in taking it, my plan is to learn ways to improve the way I handle life's little hitches and obstacles. I think the timing may have a bit to do with 'stuff' going on at work at the moment. I don't think I've always handled things as well as I could have done and that isn't a nice feeling.

Most of all, though, I'd like to find some alternatives to hitting the 'Black Dog' patches that I've experienced periodically for decades, then wallowing in the days of self-pity and negativity which so often accompanies them. The dark days are ones I'd be very happy to do without!

Through the last couple of years of weight loss I've sort of figured out small ways to do some of this by myself, but there may be better methods and I think it's about time to see what the 'experts' have to say about it. Maybe I can learn some recognised (but unknown to me) techniques which will help me more? I have an open mind and I'm willing to give it a try.

It felt quite uncomfortable last night and, looking around the class, I realised that several of the women around me (and a couple of the men) looked as edgy as I was feeling. It was a bit like reading old school reports with those supposedly 'constructive' comments like 'could try harder' or 'with more effort...' and those sinking stomach feelings that came from seeing the words. It was as though even being there was a 'let's flag it up' admission that I struggle to handle things some of the time. Well, to be honest, that is quite right - so why do I have a problem with it?

I guess it's a bit of a dent to my pride and the dawning realisation that my bad feelings are no fault of 'other people' but down to me. It is MY responsibility to see problems I've made or contributed to and MY choice to decide what to do next. Aha, that's a bit like the process I went through when wanting (and deciding) to lose the weight actually became a firm plan. Hmm, so maybe this weight loss business can bring some other benefits.

One possibility to try when I encounter a stressful situation is something the tutor calls S.O.S., which stands for:
Stand back (as in don't just jump right in there and go for the usual knee-jerk emotional reaction)
Observe (take time to really think about what's going on, trying to see other's points of view as well as your own)
Steer (telling yourself to give your mind a little nudge away from a negative reaction)

Common sense? Hell, yes! But sometimes it's worth stating the obvious. OK, let's see if the fat lass can walk the walk too!

What's that you say? What about the weight? Well, good behaviour is making a difference and the scales are gradually dropping again. That 'normal' goal is firmly back in sight.


Diana said...

Oh boy, did I ever need this over the weekend. I get those black moods too. I hate it!

I like that S.O.S. I'm going to remember that. My work is very stressful too and I tend to have knee-jerk reactions, which is very bad.

Thanks...I shall try thinking positively today. :)

The Crazy Woman Inside Me said...

I think it’s great that you’re taking a class on positive thinking, Deniz! :-)

Attitude can make such a tremendous difference in our lives. Taking responsibility for our lives and our choices isn’t easy by any means, but I believe doing that strongly impacts our happiness, personal success and ultimate sense of fulfillment.

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