19 May 2009

Row, row, row...

A strange thing happened today. I don't know if it because I've had quite a break from the rower, but when I was on it this morning I happened to glance down and realised, with amazement, that my knees now come a lot closer to my chin than I remembered. That balloon of flab, the bulging belly, which used to prevent this is nowhere near as big. OK, it hasn't disappeared but...

I suppose that, as I've said before, quite a lot of the time I still see myself as the fattie I was when I started. Logic tells me otherwise but my head hasn't quite managed that fundamental change in attitude. It came as a real surprise to me to 'notice' my smaller belly, and it got me thinking. I've also managed to slide back into the rowing, and built up my number of strokes, rather faster than I'd anticipated. Hence, the thought came to me that I must really 'be' fitter than I was before, even though I've been feeling like a slob again.

Although I'm not finding my morning stints on the rower particularly easy, as I get rather warm, (well to be honest, sweaty) somewhat out of breath and knackered, I am enjoying it again. I get onto the thing, sometimes rather grudgingly it has to be said, at 5.15 a.m. with half-closed sleepy eyelids, But then, 300 strokes later, I hop off again feeling wide awake and quite happy to carry on and do the physio stuff. I'm even considering dragging the abs cruncher out of hibernation in it's unremembered corner.

I'd completely forgotten that good feeling which comes from doing something to get the blood circulating. It's a really positive way to start the day. The walk into work is more fun somehow as well. I hope some of that positive feeling feeds into how I handle my job. You never know, maybe it does.

Yes, I still get stressed and I probably always will. And yes, I still sometimes turn to food as a sop to that. These days though it's not so likely to be the really bad stuff (crisps and chocolate... in quantity) but more likely the 'healthier' snacks I have to hand. That in itself is real progress.

I've been kicking myself and moaning about my prolonged stay at around the 70kg mark. Maybe I ought to give a little more credit to the good I have achieved and, who knows, perhaps that will spur me on to getting more love per square inch!


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