19 May 2008

Still struggling... but fighting

Things are getting a little better... I hope.

I'm back at Chi Kung on Mondays, back to the gym (twice this week) and doing my morning exercises again, after a fashion, at least. Still not back up to 400 stokes a day on the rower, but getting there. Not really going walking at lunchtimes much at all. Poor Excuse No. 1 - it was way too hot and sticky so I just sunbathed. Yes, I know I shouldn't but we get such little usable summer! And, more recently, Poor Excuse No. 2 - it's been raining so I haven't been... yet again.

Food is still not so good. I resorted to a bag of Maltesers last week as I got really down about all this weight and tiredness stuff, and then our fun night out at the local greyhound track was not very helpful either. Pleasant enough food, if a bit boring, but including chips and some sort of creamy sauce - no salad choices at all. The Guinness probably wasn't a wise move either.

Similarly, the weekend has had it's ups and downs. Some good choices (shrimp bisque), some rather bad ones (just a 'small' slice of shortbread!) . Overall I guess it was not too good. Hopped onto the scales this morning and I'm still stuck at 77kg. I'm really frustrated and low about this but, as hubby points out, at least it hasn't gone up!

I still don't really understand why I've lost so much motivation and it is rather getting to me. I was so very, very committed and then it all seemed to drain away. I know I've made good progress over the last year. I've definitely got fitter (and apparently more confident) and am obviously less heavy than I was when I started. So why is this slump happening and why am I finding it so damned hard to reverse the decline in enthusiasm and lose more of these excess bloody pounds?


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