09 May 2008


Things are not going very well right now. There are a fair few things on my mind (mostly family & health related) so sleep is disrupted once again and I'm dog-tired. That's my excuse, but it really shouldn't be a reason for where I'm at.

The effects? Don't feel like exercise, am not being as careful as I should be with food choices or portions and I've stopped losing weight - no, let's be brutally honest here - I've put a couple of pounds back on. Yes, that is two pounds - up, not down!

I think I've let myself become a bit complacent - after all, quite a few people have told me I am looking good. So, I've believed them - and that's been a really good thing. But what I guess I should remind myself (to keep me motivated towards future progress) is that they probably mean "compared to the awful fat cow you used to be". I must not forget that I still have a long way to go.

All in all I'm really close to having lost the plot and I just don't want to be here. I need to give myself a serious talking to and return for a look at why I wanted to do this in the first place.

One positive note to emerge from all this gloom - hubby commented on the fact that he can clearly see that I have more confidence in myself than I did a year ago. He says I used to 'hide' in baggy loose clothes and be a bit 'uncertain' when it came to going out and that now I wear things which show my figure (flabby as it may be) and just go out without a worry. So I must tell myself that every cloud does indeed have a silver lining and somehow get back to being Mrs Motivated!


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