19 March 2010

Me and the fat lass

It may sound funny, and all a tad 'science fiction', but I've come to the conclusion that I share my body.

One of us is 'me'. But the other person, my alter ego if you like, is the fat lass.

'Me' can make pretty good decisions about food and exercise most of the time. 'Me' doesn't automatically reach for the nibbles when times get tough. 'Me' remembers to drink lots of water. 'Me' takes her vitamins and looks after her body.

The fat lass is way too good at saying 'yes' to the wrong things. She'll say 'yes' to being lazy, sitting on her ass and not putting an effort into exercise. She'll say 'yes' to choosing all those foods I used to crave so much. She'll say 'yes' to having seconds or to a bigger portion. She'll bypass the water with some excuse about having no time to go to the loo. She isn't that bothered about the body. What she wants is satisfaction... and she wants it now!

When I was still gaining weight and failing regularly at 'diets' the fat lass had a firm hand on the reins. 'Me' was still in there somewhere, but she got buried under the fat and pretty much pushed aside and forgotten. She spent too many years hidden away. She never liked it, but she didn't know how to fight her way back out.

I can't ever get rid of the fat lass and she won't leave me alone, because she is a part of who I am. This whole weight loss journey has been about listening to the little voice of 'me' and beginning to make my partner, the fat lass, a silent partner. I don't always succeed in this and sometimes the fat lass gets her own way.

But I am so glad that 'me' finally figured out a way to flourish and to become the leader in this strange co-habitation for more of the time. More power to her. I hope everyone finds their 'me'. She really is in there somewhere and she's worth looking for.


Diane Fit to the Finish said...

Great post! We really don't change on the inside even as we change on the outside. Sure we may have different priorities, etc. but who we are is still there somewhere.

Debbie said...

I came across your blog and it reminded me of ME... You are doing great.. Keepup the good work.

Chrissie said...

Great post that sums up a lot of how I've felt about myself, especially when I was succumbing to the urge to binge frequently. I think you're right about never losing that person all together, but I'm hoping it gets easier to sit on her until she shuts up!
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