Alecto and the Beach Boys

Who'd be female and fifty, huh?

Hormonal rant coming up - those of the alternative gender, readers of tender youth and anyone of a sensitive disposition may like to navigate somewhere else!

Yeah, so I'm probably getting ahead of myself here. News on the blood test not back yet from the GP, so I don't know whether she will confirm that the blasted menopause process IS actually underway, despite me being fairly convinced that that's where I stand. However, I think all this 'stuff' going on with my body and my emotions is, in common with the sudden and overwhelming hot sweats and the disturbed nights, merely a few more delightful symptoms of the menopause related c**p!

There are two major things bothering me at the moment. Both of these are taking over my life and affecting my concentration and, to some extent, the combination makes my weight-loss efforts much, much more challenging. Actually, they are making life in general pretty challenging right now and relationships are getting a tad strained because I'm soooo very cranky, soooo very often.

The first is something the GP was quite happy to acknowledge is hormone-driven. I'm experiencing some pretty serious mood swings. Did I say swings? Hmmm, think again - there's one 'mood' which is pretty much a constant, right now... and this is?

Well, the aspect of this emotional imbalance which is getting me down more than all the other parts (e.g. the blue meanie miseries or sudden tearfulness) is that I seem to switch in a nanosecond from being my usual 'relatively' calm self to a close comrade of the Looney Tunes Tasmanian Devil.

It can (and does) happen over the silliest, tiniest, most irrelevant things, and it it this which makes it so crazy and so utterly annoying. I don't seem to be particularly phased by life's bigger worries (well, not any more than usual) but so often recently the most minor of silly irritations instantly transforms me, à la Jekyll & Hyde, into a hissing, spitting fury.

And it's happening a lot! It's pretty embarassing to be honest - it takes me a long time to settle back to normality and I don't feel like 'me' at all.

So why does my title mention Alecto? Well, she is one of the three Greek goddesses of vengeance, often called the Furies... with Alecto being the sister characterised by constant, unceasing anger. Ooooh, sounds familiar, huh?

Then we get to the Beach Boys... and this one is a real doozy! For the last several months I've been plagued by what I can only describe as 'internal vibrations'. A sort of intermittent buzzing, like the tic of a muscle or the twitching of an eyelid, and it's both disturbing and unsettling in a BIG way. Mine happens about an inch and a half down from my belly button and an inch and a half in. Some days (and most nights) the vibrations drive me to distraction.

Lovely hubby thought it was quite amusing to begin with, when I described it, and nicknamed these episodes as my 'Good Vibrations'. Humph! 'Good' they are most definitely not. Sadly, I've lost my sense of humour after this length of time and the GP had never heard of anything like it, menopause related or not. In fact, she looked askance and seemed to think this was a very odd thing to mention. I'm not certain she actually believed me - sceptics 'r us, methinks!

So, good old Google search to the rescue and it seems I'm not alone in suffering this, nor indeed am I nuts (thank you Lord). If this is another little fringe benefit of the menopause, which seems a strong possibility, it could be as simple as messed up hormones affecting nerve transmissions... or messing with levels of B vitamins... or something. Whatever it is I do wish it would go away.

Between all the different types of 'fun' which seem to be happening to me recently, deciding to go for the HRT option is looking rather more and more likely. The hell with the long-term risks if it gives me my life back. From what the GP explained the risks don't sound terribly high anyway and, heck, when it comes to risks I could always get hit by the number 9 bus on my way to work, couldn't I.