It's all gone pear-shaped! (only kidding)

Just an aside on a rainy afternoon... as doing this stops me going to the canteen and buying that scrumptious-looking Bakewell Tart.

I'll try to stop drooling long enough to type.

Though I've long suspected this, today I calculated my waist-to-hip ratio at A Healthy Me

The results?

Their calculator reported...
Your waist-to-hip ratio is 0.72

going on to say...
You're a "pear"
not a major surprise there - I know only too well where the flab resides and it sure is South of the border!

and then...
Congratulations! At this ratio (0.76 and below) you have the lowest risk of heart disease and diabetes.
so the fat lass begins to celebrate...

until the report also goes on to say...
Waist size alone can signal the danger of heart disease. Your waist is larger than 30 inches, which means your chances of getting coronary disease is double that of women with smaller waists (28 inches and under).

A whole five inches to go then, eh? No point getting all excited just yet. Oh well, better keep at the healthy eating and weight loss plan then.

Still on track

It's not going too badly at the moment and I'm beginning to feel more in control again. My target of 75kg by the time we go away (in just about six weeks) feels achieveable.

The food side is reasonably good although I need to start making my portions a bit smaller again. That said, the content is good, healthy and tasty stuff. Take last night, for example - a chicken breast cut into strips and marinated in ginger, garlic and a touch of oil, then grilled and served with a little pile of stir-fried vegetables, sprouting beans and a sprinkle of soy sauce. A big glass of water and a natural (goatmilk) yoghurt for dessert. Delicious! Lunch yesterday was two Ryvita, an orange, a handful of blueberries and a glass of water. I ate an apple at break, some goji berries as a snack (the taste is slowly growing on me) and had my toast and banana (with no spread) for breakfast. I actually said no to a glass of sherry last night too - even though I would quite have liked one.

The exercise is a bit variable - rowing is going well (up to 300 strokes now and planning on 350 by the weekend) but the exercises the physio gave me are not going great. I just need to keep reminding myself of the benefits... and of the consequences of not keeping up the routine! The walking is a bit hampered by the knee trouble, but I'm keeping at it, just limping a bit to begin with. The asthma is not wonderful at the moment and my peak flow is down to around 380 again - oh well, back to using the other inhaler and keep an eye on it.

The weight is still around 77kg but the needle on the scales is just hesitating slightly to one side of the mark - the correct side, that is - and I may get to 76.5kg by next week as long as I keep at it. My waist measurement has dropped a tad as well, to just below 33 inches. This is definitely a yippee!

And, saving the best to last, I'm wearing a new pair of trousers for work, which feels rather good. My old ones had been taken in several (!) times and were beginning to feel uncomfortable as the waistband had four small tucks (or whatever the dressmaking term is) at the front and two at the back - and they were very loose on the thigh. The new ones are fitting, but not tight to the point of embarrassment. I can sit down comfortably and bend and do everything I need to do. Oh yes, and they are a size 16 from one of the high street chains not known for generous sizing. I also have a new raincoat, as the weather here has been so consistently rainy, in a sort of military style with a belt at the waist! A belt? This would have been a complete no-no a year ago. I feel quite smart.

Weather blues and calculations

First the grumble... this soggy weather and the darkened skies are getting me down. Where did our summer go this year? It sure didn't come here. It's just sooooo depressing to look out at grey, grey, grey - and I'm royally fed up with getting wet. And now it's autumn, with winter fast approaching. Hard to keep one's thoughts away from comfort food.

It's not really the sort of temperature for a steaming casserole yet, too warm still, but that's what I'm dreaming about. Maybe a mutton stew with lots of carrots, or a beefy rich one with whole small shallots in a red wine gravy - even a herby chicken one with mushrooms, at a push.

For now, I'm still going for the lighter options but soon I'll have to think of ways to have my comfort, but healthily.

And the calculations part? Well, my trusty (more like rusty) calculator has been out of its drawer and set to work again in an attempt to keep my motivation going.

Thinking about a more accurate starting point, back in May 2007, I was probably in the region of 100kg (that's around 15 stone 10 lbs - my goodness that was fat!). For these calculations I'm going to assume that 100kg was my actual start point - by the time I was weighed at the surgery I was down to 96kg, but that was after 5 weeks of changed habits, and a noticeable loss in inches.

Taking my current weight, 77kg (a moderately pleasing 12 stone 2 lbs), I've lost 23kg or thereabouts. This means that when (note she says 'when', being positive, not 'if') I reach my October target of 75kg (in six weeks... and counting) I will have lost a quarter of my body weight... in flibbety-flobbety flab. What a fantastic thing that will be!

Even if I'm hard on myself, and take the doctor's 96kg as my start point, that'd still be over 22% of my body fat lost.

Oddly enough, one thing I have noticed recently though is that my body image (the way I see myself) fluctuates madly. Some days I feel as fat and lumpy as I ever was, despite the obviously smaller clothes, and on those days I can't shake that 'oh God, I look as dreadful as ever' feeling. Other days I feel pretty 'normal', like an average human not a blob of blubber. I haven't found a pattern yet, but there may be one I guess. Something to ponder on a wet weekend?

Temptation - grrrr!

Arrrgh! What is going on at the moment??

Let's get this straight. I'm really not being ungrateful (actually quite the opposite) but I think there must be a conspiracy going on to kick the fat lass back off the wagon. As you know, I've been finding things a bit of a struggle recently - and this makes things just a little bit harder.

On Monday I got home to a great big box of yummy looking Belgian chocolates - a 'thank you' present from a neighbour. Oh, the pain! It hurts me to say, but I've had to give them away as I couldn't cope with having them in the house, with them calling out "eat me, eat me - go on, just one".

Then on Tuesday I was given another beautifully wrapped box - this time a present of sweetmeats from Japan. This one will really pain me to give away (probably to my Mum though, which'll help) as I'd love to taste at least one of them. If they taste as appealing as they look, the packaging is just so delicate and beautiful, they'd be worth trying.

What's more, Tuesday turned into 'one of those days' at work and I got home in a very bad frame of mind, having lost my rag at work. A fancy choccy or a new Japanese sweetie would have been a wonderful thing to soothe my temper. I probably wouldn't have been able to stop at just one though, so... put temptation away from me.

Then we get to today. Another perfectly wrapped present had been left on my desk when I got in to work - again a 'thank you'. My heart sank for a moment, realised it was being ungrateful and then just hoped. Aha! Not food. The relief was amazing - hard to explain really. Even more so when this morning has brought a whole string of stresses and problems to deal with. If the present had been edible it would not have made it home tonight!

Some fragile tendrils of hope?

Let's begin September on a positive note.

Exercise...
The rowing is slowly getting easier and I'm gradually increasing my time. The other morning/daily exercises are not great but I'll keep at it and we'll see what happens. One in particular I am finding very hard - both to perform and to make myself do. Hubby could tell you exactly which it is! Walking is becoming more of a pleasure again and, while autumn hasn't quite arrived, I just need to get out each lunchtime to do bit more. Chi Kung will start again soon - that'll be another box ticked. This just leaves the gym to get back on track!

Food...
My eating patterns have been quite good, well better, over the last week or so and I will keep plugging away at making more rational choices. I'm still not really enjoying my healthy food as much as I was but at least my darling hubby's soups are helping. The stumbling block is lunch choices - they are still not really hitting the spot so I'm left unsatisfied (translate as 'hungry') and casting around for 'something nice'. Marmite helps but is rather high in salt... which leads to me drinking more water! Ho hum.

Health problems...
Hmmm, not fantastically good, but it could be a lot worse. I'm doing what I can to minimise the effects (keep telling myself its step-by-step, and in it for the long-haul), to make a little progress and very much trying not to let it get me down. This is definitely closely tied into the motivation side of things.

Motivation...
My attitude seems to have improved a bit and that slump of depression and negativity has loosened its grip a little. I'm trying really hard to stay positive and focused. It isn't easy but I am slowly getting back to a better outlook.

Weight...
Down a little - I was 78kg this morning and that is definitely the right direction to be heading. Celebrating the little things - yippee, progress!

Target...
To give myself something to focus on... by the week beginning 20th October (seven weeks away, just in time for an anniversary celebration) I plan to be unequivocally below 12 stone. That's an aim of 75 kg or, in English, somewhere in the region of 11 stone 11 lbs. I think, with a little help from the abs cruncher, that my waist measurement should also have dropped by about one inch by then.