30 January 2012

Good news, and a 'but'

I'm eating healthily enough and not going mad with portions. My weight is still OK and is still hanging in there at a pretty comfortable level, currently 55kg. The early morning exercise regime is going well and both lovely hubby and I got all excited about being back at the gym on Sunday. I even think I'm possibly beginning to see a small difference to my belly. Slightly, almost imperceptibly, it's maybe getting a bit firmer. All good stuff, no?


The 'but' is that, mentally, I'm really not in a positive frame of mind and I think it's these darned kooky hormones. My confidence has taken quite a back seat and I just don't feel like 'me'. I know this is going to sound completely irrational but half the time I feel as though nothing much has changed and that still I'm buried under my old fat suit, just as I used to be four or so years ago. Sure, my clothes clearly demonstrate that things have got better, but my mental picture of 'me' has become a bit on the warped side at the moment.

Even when I force the issue and apply straight up logic or look back at old photos, the grown-up part of me can see reality but, for the rest... well it's almost that I'm expecting to get up one morning, hop onto the scales and see a horrendous number which puts me right back to square one and confirms I am indeed the fat lass my head is telling me I am.

I'm also seriously cranky and lacking in patience. Janey Mac! but we have to get these blasted hormones sorted out. New tablets start tomorrow so let's cross my fingers they kick in soonest. Right now, female and fifties isn't my idea of fun! Ho hum.


Diane Fit to the Finish said...

It probably is hormonally related and I know how you feel. So glad that you are feeling stronger and beginning to see results from your gym workouts. Hang in there!

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