23 January 2012

Steady as she goes?

Yep, that sort of sums up the story of where I am at the moment and, in the main, I'm quite happy about that.

Let's go for the pluses first...

My weight is staying pretty steady, although it seems to cycle up and down between 55kg (which is my 'happy' number) and 56kg. I'm not going mad to lose any more weight so am just being careful (and mindful) with what I eat, making sure it's good healthy stuff (a.k.a. veggies aplenty). However, I am allowing myself to eat slightly more than when I've been in full weight-loss mode. So far, this seems to be working out fairly well, although I'm weighing daily to keep an eye on how I'm doing and am primed and ready to jigger with things if they do begin to go awry.

The exercise side of things is going quite well too. I'm rowing and doing a decent set of abs floor exercises six mornings out of seven, and walking near enough every day in addition. Lovely hubby and I have firm plans to re-join our gym at the weekend and I'm thinking positive thoughts about going once again... even though I know it's probably going to make me feel stiff as a board for a few days. As it stands right now though, I'm certainly feeling physically fitter than I have for a wee while. This is good because the menopause seems to have taken a turn for the negative. Bleh!

Mentally... I'm not exactly on an even keel. In recent weeks I've been mopey, tearful, down, irritable, snappy and dog-tired, and I'm guessing that a fair bit of this is hormonal. Oh Lordy, this is beginning to look like the return of Alecto!

I've also been worrying (to extremes!) about all sorts of 'stuff', some of which is made up of valid concerns and some of it is just plain silly things. Unfortunately, my head won't let me differentiate between the two types at dark o' hundred when I'm waking up in a muck sweat yet again and losing precious sleep. This is having a not unexpected knock-on effect on my days and I don't feel like I'm coping well with life in general at the moment.

However, hope is in sight. I've seen my GP and she seemed to think the changes that have happened recently were not much of a surprise (hmmm, just wish she'd warned me so I didn't think I was going doolally again!). Ho hum. Still, I now have a brand new, higher dose version of my HRT pills to start at the end of this cycle. Cross fingers, toes, and whatever else that they'll help, although I know it'll take a little while before things settle down.

In the meanwhile I've just got to try to hang on to my shredded temper and not let it get the better of me, and hang on to the motivation to keep the exercise up and this weight off and not descend into a chocolate flavoured pit of despair. Onwards ever.


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