21 April 2009

Not the best start to a week

Well, before I start moaning I'll get the good bit of news off my chest. The scales reported 69.5kg yesterday morning. That's back down under the 11 stone milestone again, at last. I can't quite understand how the lbs have dropped off as I haven't been particularly careful over food and exercise has been minimal to say the least. Still, I'll gratefully accept the outcome.

Have to say that I'm a bit concerned over the exercise part at the moment. Because of the Bartholin episode (which is still ongoing) I haven't been able to do my morning physio exercises. Walking too far has been a no-no as well. I am still so dog-tired (the antibiotic effect?) that any form of exercise seems an unachievable aim at the moment. Just making it through a work day is enough. I feel like a complete slug. But, what really bothers me is that unless I can get back to doing the physio exercises my other problems may return. Catch 22 indeed.

I'm a bit peeved that I had to go back to my GP because this Bartholin thing isn't going away. That means taking round two of the high-dosage flucloxacillin tablets... with a repeat of the various side-effects! Let's hope this lot will sort out this bug, or whatever it is that has decided to take up residence. I don't want it any longer and definitely don't want it to get the upper hand again. If that does happen, I'm told it's off to the emergency gynaecologist for a 'minor operation'. Sounds fun, eh?

Add to this that I'm worrying more and more about my poor lovely hubby. He is also on another round of antibiotics (different ones this time) for another ten days, as his post-op infection doesn't want to do the decent thing and go away either - what a pair we are! Things had seemed to be going so well, and we are now left wondering what the long-term outcome is likely to be. I know I can't do anything to help, and I'm trying to keep calm and logical (for both of us) but I am not able to stop the worries descending, usually in the early hours.

Then there's the worries over my Mum. She went for a CT scan on Friday (she's still losing weight and has a 'lump' in her abdomen) and we are now on tenterhooks for the next two weeks until we find out more about what is going on. It was really lovely to see her at Easter, but awful in a way too, as it made me realised just how frail she is becoming. She's in pain much of the time too, although she does her utmost to hide that. She's such a fighter, my Mum, but age and time is taking it's toll and she's getting less and less able to cope.

And it's been a rough few days at work. I feel overwhelmed and less able to handle the everyday hassles than usual. OK, that may be partly down to the fact that I still feel pretty ropey and have minimal patience at the moment. It may also be due to the seeming lack of common sense exhibited by the supposedly intelligent and highly educated bunch I work with. Which part of 'taking personal responsibility' for your surroundings isn't getting through? Oh boy!

All of this stuff is so depressing. I need to snap out of it before I start hitting the chocolate and get out the Leonard Cohen records! So, positive things to think about...

  • It's spring and the flowers are lovely.
  • The sun is shining and the sky is blue.
  • I weigh a lot less than I used to.
  • I enjoy my daily fruit and fresh raw vegetables.
  • I have a wonderful family and some great friends.
  • My family are getting great medical care.
  • I still have a job.
Er... Come on, that can't be everything! Help me out here...


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