Happiness and remembrance

Oh my. I dreamed again about my lovely Mum last night. It was so, so real and, because of that, wonderful but also bittersweet. In my dream she had already grown old and frail, but she was trying so hard to do what she always did - help other people.

I've been dreaming of her quite a bit recently and guess I know why this is. Coming up in just a few days she has a Birthday. On Monday she'd have been 94. Oh, how I miss her... though I wouldn't wish her back to her suffering.

However, I've mentioned (OK, more like bored you all) more than once about her 'Count Your Blessings' saying, and this is something I try to remember and act upon each and every day. It's become a very important part of my life and I've decided to do something to permanently remind myself (and others) of Mum's mantra.

So... in a couple of weeks time I'm booked in to have this phrase tattooed on my back, in a curve at the bottom of my spine, as a lasting reminder of how fortunate I am. I've chosen a really pretty, delicate font (better than in the picture, and may put a picture up afterwards if I feel brave) and booked a half-day holiday. What's more, my darling lovely hubby is going to have the self-same phrase tattooed too, in a different (more masculine) font on his shoulder.

Are we daft? Possibly, but I can't think of many more fitting memorials to a lovely lady. Life's blessings? They surely included my darling Mother.

Great weekend, over too soon

Well, it was great to spend time alone with my darling lovely hubby, away from the mad world of work, enjoying ourselves and exploring part of the UK we don't know well at all. Off we went to the Peak District and thereabouts for an Easter break, and really liked it a lot. Probably ate way too much, but what the heck.

Friday was grey and wet, wet, wet, but that didn't stop us exploring and having 'our' version of fun. Saturday was better weather, and we saw some absolutely fabulous countryside and had a lovely walk, up hill and down dale. Sunday was a super spring day. Daffodils everywhere, a gorgeous church to explore and a ride on an old train. Bliss!

Yesterday disappeared in a blur of the 'usual' weekend tasks as we were back home and today... well, it may be Tuesday, but it sure feels like a Monday to this fat lass! Ho hum.

Yesterday

That much-needed mental kick in the pants helped.

Ticked off 1), 2), 3) and 4), and planning on more of the same today.

Getting a grip!

Right fat lass. It's all very well recognising that you are struggling, but it simply isn't enough. Monday morning dawns again and it's time to realise that all the moaning and mithering in the world never did you any good, so you just need to get on with it and DO what you know is the right thing for your health, and that's mental as well as physical wellbeing. 

Yep, life is uncertain (sure, it's a bowl of cherries - just don't forget that cherries come complete with hard stones to break the odd tooth), and it's unsettled and a tad scary right now, but worrying will not help worth a damn.

All it does is allow that sneaky flea-ridden black dog the opportunity to settle down on the sofa and make himself at home... and he is not a welcome house guest!

So, what are you going to do about it, eh? Make a plan, and start putting the plan into action today. So, to the plan:

1) Drink more water (yes, I know it's harder when the weather is still not warm but just do it!)
2) Get out there and w-a-l-k... every single day! Then once the breathing is a bit easier (and it WILL improve), get back on the rower.
3) Choose what you eat with good sense, stick to your choices and be mindful when you eat. Make time, and savour those textures and flavours.
4) Take note of the good stuff - yes, those blessings. Make time to SEE them, and properly recognise them for the positive things they are.

You're not in a bad place, it's a great place to be. The weight, although back up to where I was before the bug bit, is apparently stable at 54kg. So, let's make sure it doesn't increase. Do the right thing now and you won't have to undo any damage once it's happened.

Oh, did you say cherries?

Struggles

Dammit, I really have no reason whatsoever to be struggling... but somehow I am. Things at work are not exactly sweetness and light at the moment and I'm seriously short on patience... hence the tee-shirt image.

Try as I may, I'm just not making the grade at the moment. I'm extremely grumpy, and also quite down - to the point of being teary. Blasted black dog is definitely on the prowl. A whole raft of nebulous worries (about all sorts of things) seem to be my lot at the moment too. Doing 'something' about it though... er, that's not really happening.

In part, this is because I've still got precious little energy (I'm constantly tired and still coughing) and have practically no stamina so, apart from a bit of walking, the exercise plans are still just that - vague 'someday' plans. Having lost a load of weight while ill, I now find myself starving of the hunger a lot of the time so capable of munching for England. While initially happy for a bit of a gain back, I am getting worried that things could get right out of hand unless I curb this desire to eat... anything and everything.

I need to get a grip, to get out of this dark mindset and see the positives. They ARE there. Remember, fat lass, your lovely Mum knew that all too well, so look out (actively!) for those blessings.

On this basis, I read a quote somewhere which said something along the lines of "if you are struggling at least you are still trying". I guess that is, at least, a small silver lining. Ah well, onwards ever...