Self-sabotage

Oh dear. I have hit a bit of a problem. To make it worse, I didn't really either recognise or take note of it and resorted to my old, stoooopid behaviour, comfort eating.

It's taken me a few days to even realise I was doing it as I've still been exercising, still eating my healthy cottage cheese and veg/fruit lunch and being sensible of an evening. All the time merrily kidding myself that I was doing fine. But, and it's a very big but, I've 'treated' myself to something - a piece of cake or a couple of biscuits - for four or five days on the trot! I've also dropped off with my water intake - hence up four pounds and waist size expanding about half an inch.

The thing that tipped me off wasn't even the food diary (which I'd 'conveniently' forgotten to complete after coming back from a weekend away), but stepping onto the bathroom scales and - ooops! I'm back up to just under 13 stone, when I had been happily heading for twelve and a half.

Thinking about why this have happened leads me straight to a bit of stress at work over the last couple of weeks. I've been given a few things to think about for the future (OK, they're probably positive, if challenging) so I've been worrying and not sleeping well again. So getting more tired and finding that the same old behaviour triggers the same old responses and the same old inability to catch on to what I've been doing to myself.

Well, I've caught on now, so time to get back to reality. No more 'treats' for the wrong reasons, no more kidding myself and back to putting conscious thought into what I'm doing and why. Wish me luck!

Typical days II

About 5.20a.m., when the alarm rings, it's time for the rower. I'm currently up to 400 strokes per day, takes between 15 and 16 minutes, but it is getting better. The abs crunch instrument of torture takes another five minutes or so, then shower and breakfast - usually muesli and skimmed milk - and I actually enjoy it now!

Off to catch the bus for work and get off early for my walk from the far end of town - about twenty five minutes and definitely brisk. Drink a pint of water as soon as I get to work, and fill my glass at least twice more during the day, more if I get a chance.

My customary apple at break, then at lunchtime walking for another hour - some stepping out and some just ambling around the Botanic Gardens appreciating nature's beauty. Back to my desk and usually a small amount of cottage cheese, sticks of carrot, celery and sugar-snap peas for lunch, generally with some berries for a dessert. OK, I know it would be better to concentrate on the food, not work and munch but forsake my walk? No way!

Then when it's time to go home, another ten minute walk to the bus, then walk from the far end of town - another 25 minutes stepping out.

A relatively healthy evening meal - still keeping to smaller portion sizes (although I could still do more here), with minimal fat and lots of lovely steamed veggies. An occasional Mini Milk for an evening treat and, rarely, a glass of something alcoholic. More water before bed.

I'm determined to keep this up although I'm still regularly struggling to keep from being disappointed at my slow progress. I try to keep the positive changes in mind but still want things to move more quickly and sometimes get quite despondent as there's still such a long way to go. Still, it took years to put on the weight and get so unfit so I cannot expect miracles - slow, steady progress is still progress.

Ups and downs at Uplands

A night away in a hotel, and food choices are not always good ones. Breakfast was fine - a bowl of Fruit 'n Fibre (with added sunflower seeds) followed by gorgeous fresh pineapple, watermelon and grapes. Even though the 'fry-up' looked and smelled good (and I was told it tasted pretty good too), I didn't regret my choice. A walk around the grounds, watching (and being watched by) the beautiful red kites which seem to abound in this part of Buckinghamshire finished breakfast off nicely!

Unfortunately, all down hill from here on. The date & banana cake called out to be eaten with coffee - and was very nice too. But lunch of two Marks & Sparks scones wasn't sensible, even without spread, jam, clotted cream or anything else. Never mind - back on track tomorrow.

Another milestone

I'm happy. Today I did my current 400 strokes on the Horizon Oxford II in less than 16 minutes. In fact, in 15:45!

Big deal, some would say. Well, actually, for me, yes it is. My times when I first got to 400 strokes were usually above 17 minutes, so increasing my speed takes me one step closer to my goal - 500 strokes per day at a reasonable stroke rate, and still enough time to shower, eat breakfast and catch my bus.

Off topic no.1 - how come my stroke rate on the Horizon is so much less than on the gym's Concept II?

Off topic no. 2 - the Weider Crunch Trainer is as much of a bitch as ever. Still, it's early days so nil desperandum.

Second outing to the gym

This time tried a Saturday morning and it's a lot less hectic. Had a chance to try out a couple of the weights stations but am all too aware that I need some input as to whether I'm doing things right before I get down to this seriously. Wait for the training session for the personal programme to start before I do this seriously, methinks.

So for today - 15 minutes rowing, then 10 minutes on the reclining bike (find the sit-up ones very uncomfortable), 15 minutes walking briskly uphill on the treadmill and a five minute try-out on the cross trainer (the 'spotty dog walker' to me as I can't help but think of the Woodentops whenever I see someone use it - anyone remember 'Watch with Mother'?).