13 June 2014

A thought for today...

...and a small sense of pride?

To move on from the motivational slogan, which I think is just great... here's to renewed starts.

OK, I know they say that pride goes before a fall, but I'm going to hold on hard to this smidge-idgen of pride for now, cross every finger behind my back and hope that the fall isn't waiting out there for me.

It's been a challenging few weeks. Actually, it feels like it's been a whole lot longer than 'weeks', but let's just stick with this for now. There's been a lot going on at work, and also at home. For whatever reason I've been tired for quite a lot of the time, slightly (and at times, very) stressed and, as lovely hubby could doubtless confirm, pretty darned sensitive for most of it. I haven't exactly slept well either, which is never good for this fat lass.

But, since my faux pas at the end of May (that dark chocolate inhalation incident) I have been trying hard to divorce feelings and food. Or, should I say, I've been trying to analyse the 'why' behind wanting to eat when I encounter one of those 'gimme a treat, now!' moments.

If it's been 'real' hunger (a tip to remember, fat lass - your tummy actually does rumble and growl when you're really hungry!) then I've eaten something from my carefully and thoughtfully pre-prepared lunch or snack boxes, and eaten it mindfully. However, if it's been an emotion-driven 'want', then I've looked at what's brought me here (grief, anger, sadness, boredom, frustration, feeling out of control or out of my depth, or whatever it's been) and, thank the Lord, I've managed to talk myself out of stuffing my face. Usually by making a cuppa, or drinking some water, or getting up and away from what I'm in the midst of and distracting myself.

It's been going pretty well, so I decided to test my resolve a bit harder and add a little 'trial by treat' to the mix. So, I did a little shopping on Monday. Above my desk there's a jar of almond butter, and in my desk another bar of 90% chocolate. Despite a difficult week (again!), to date, both of these remain unopened!

I have no idea what effect (if any) this has had on weight - that hasn't been the point of this exercise. What I'm figuring my way through is the emotional eating side of things... once again.

Yes, I've been here and done it before, and yes, I thought I had it cracked. Obviously I hadn't (hence the brother-related chocolate binge), so it's been a case of get back to the drawing board and do what has paid off for me in the past.   

So, in contrast to the cartoon (which made me giggle), maybe old dogs like me can learn a few new tricks... but they'd sure as heck better keep on practicing them because even though 'learned', they are just as soon forgotten.

Onwards, wearily but quietly proudly, ever...


Chrissie said...

Sounds like you're doing brilliantly - and deserve a good dollop of pride! I am nowhere near trusting myself enough to try that myself, but I hope I'll be able to some time, and reading this does inspire me.
Good luck!

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