January scales

Nope, I didn't mis-spell it! This is nothing to do with discounts and start of the year 'buy one, get one' offers. This is the moment for the annual confession and review, and there's both good news and bad to report.

OK, let's get the bad bit over first and admit to the number I saw on the scales this morning. It's a gain for the fat lass and I'm now right back at 64kg (just over my ten stone milestone). Having managed to keep those pesky lbs off in the run-up to Christmas, a drop-off in exercise and slightly looser control over my eating patterns during the period between Christmas and New Year (mostly when we were away) means that I'm around two or three pounds up. Hence I'm a wee bit more of a fat lass to start 2010 than I'd like to be.

But, there is actually some good news hidden away in these words too. This 'good' centres primarily on the fact that I've ONLY gained this much, as I didn't leap completely off the wagon and gain masses of weight, and that I'm still fairly close to that miracle ten stone mark. Looking back over the last few years, the progress I've made with my weight loss becomes much more clear. Hmmm, this blogging lark really does have some extra benefits I hadn't thought too much about before.

So, let's review things - around this time in January 2008 I was congratulating myself on my weight being down to an astonishing 85kg or 187 lbs (13 stone 5 lbs). That was a very big deal for me and I was overjoyed to still be losing weight steadily some six months, or so, on from my blinding moment on the road to Damascus!

Then, last January I bemoaned a gain which put me back at 75kg or 165 lbs (11 stone 11 lbs). That followed being 'relatively' careful, but taking my eye off the ball at the final stages of the holiday season. Even so, I could see the bigger picture and what a difference that year had made to me, and it made me happy and remotivated me.

As you'll have gathered my mental arithmetic is never the best, but I still make it an overall loss of 11kg over the last year, and that's not too far short of two stone of my hated flab that I've managed to shed. If I look right back to where I was when I began this 'change of life' I've lost somewhere in the region of six stone. Wow! Needless to say, I'm very, very happy about that. But that's just the weight side of things and the bathroom scales don't show the whole picture.

Let's look at 'scales' in another sense - balancing what was against what is now.

The improvement in my health is the cause of most of my rejoicing. I still carry the dreaded salbutamol inhaler in the depths of my handbag (lovely hubby calls it my suitcase!), but never need to use it. These days I rarely get totally breathless... unless I completely overdo the exercise enthusiasm! I don't even know where the horrible steroid inhaler is. My peak flow is something I'm now quite happy with. In fact, I no longer consider myself to class as 'asthmatic'.

What's more, I no longer fear the almost inevitable onset of Type II diabetes and coronary heart disease anytime soon. Their spectres may not have gone away for ever (I guess the damage I've done to myself over the years cannot be completely reversed) but at least I think I've managed to postpone them for a fair few years to come.

OK, my joints haven't made it to 50 in the best condition, and they crunch and crack and ache daily. But those joints have such a lot less to contend with now that they used to. Heaven knows what state I'd have been in by now if I hadn't done something to address the pressures they were dealing with. All in all, my fitness is generally better now than it's ever been - and that's still whilst I'm feeling a shade guilty that I've slacked off and gone slightly backwards!

'What' I eat has undergone a radical transformation and my tastes have changed to the extent that a lot of my old cravings actually make me react with an instant 'yuck' if I see them now. The 'plus' sized burger meal or a dripping cheesy, meat-laden pizza? No thanks! As I write I'm enjoying my morning tea with my customary crisp, crunchy Pink Lady apple. Delicious!

And, in my downsized fat lass world, the word 'fun' now comes before 'food' in my dictionary. I think that's a pretty big change, and one worth noting.

My appearance has changed dramatically too. I don't just mean my size, which certainly has altered, but the fact that I now actually care what I look like and try to make the best of myself, flaws and all. I've been told on more than one occasion that I've got younger and I 'sort of' get the point.

Because I now look pretty normal (to my eyes) and I don't try to hide away, my confidence has returned to a large extent. I feel 'womanly' again and dress more adventurously - this fat lass has moved far away from the baggy cover-ups and graveyard palette and now wears fitted clothes in pale shades and colours!

So, back to the review:

Has it been worth it so far?
Yes!
No regrets at all - I only wish I had started this years ago.

Will I keep working at weight loss and lose those last few pounds in 2010?
Yes!
I'm already planning to wear my next, smaller-sized, 'target' skirt (even though it means I may have to discard some current favourites) and am all set for salsacise and the gym to start again next week.

Will I keep the lost lbs off?
Yes!
It won't be easy and I expect there'll be a lot of moaning and groaning along the way, but I will not go back to being the old fat lass. She is out of my life and I'm quite happy with that. It feels like I've rediscovered (well, regained actually) the old 'me' who got buried under my excess weight and seemed completely lost for ever. Amazingly, she was still in there somewhere - it's great to have her back.