03 December 2008

Getting there again?

I wrote something earlier this week but didn't post it. I'm now glad that I didn't as, when I read it back, it was so draggingly negative. I'm happier to report that today's post is going to take a more positive outlook.

Last week I was mithering about my weight and whether I'd manage to get any more off in the run up to Christmas. I even said "staying where I am is looking less likely". Well, it looks as though I got that bit right. But what the heck - it could be a helluva lot worse.

When I got on the scales on Monday I'd gone up to 73.5kg again and was none too happy. It felt especially hard as I'll be seeing the dietician next week and was hoping for a miracle. But come on! It is only a one kilo gain and I don't think it'll be too long before I can shift it again.

When I think sensibly about things, and ditch that instant emotional response of "it just ain't fair", I know last week was far from an ideal week. We ate out three times and whilst I tried to be good, you are never quite as good as you'd like to be. And, I struggled with a cold/virus thingy, which just didn't seem willing to go away. That meant I had zero enthusiasm for life in general, was dog-tired and obviously run down, achy, with a sore throat and a face full of cold sores. Oh, what a boost to one's self-esteem that is!

As a result of feeling crappy, I missed Chi Kung again too. But, most days I just about managed the physio exercises although anything else was pretty much off the cards. So, not too huge a surprise that I didn't lose anything then, eh? Or even stay the same.

This morning feels a lot more on track. It's a lovely crisp frosty winter morning here, and I actually went for a long-ish walk on the way into work to enjoy the beauty. Whilst I'm now pretty tired, I really enjoyed it.

I think I may have turned a corner and have a bit more motivation back. I can lose that extra kilo, and I should be able to lose a little more before we hit Christmas. No, it won't be my pie-in-the-sky target but that doesn't matter. What does is that I'm back to thinking positively and 'know' that I'll keep going on my journey to 'more love per square inch'.


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