Still here, still coughing

Well, Christmas wasn't too bad after all.

It wasn't quite a 'chestnuts roasting on an open fire' affair though. More of a 'shivering under a blanket on the sofa' experience really. Poor hubby had to cope with a less than ideal Christmas Day enduring my sniffy, coughy, grumpy alter ego, and he did so wonderfully. Thankfully, he seems to be immune to whatever this bug has been!

He made a very special breakfast for us on Christmas morning, and a very healthy one too. It was 'paximadi' (double-baked rye bread from Crete) with hot goat milk (semi-skimmed, of course). Delicious and warming and very, very filling.

And to carry on a Cretan theme we had roast leg of lamb for Christmas dinner, with the most scrumptious sprouts and red cabbage. Roast potatoes and parsnips and a bottle of good red wine completed the menu and it was sheer heaven!

Exercise took a back seat for most of the time, but we did venture out on Boxing Day to the races. Only for a short time though as, even bundled up in numerous layers of clothing, it was perishingly cold with a bitter easterly wind. We didn't stay for all the races but seeing those proud, beautifully turned-out horses eager to get going and set off around the track was fabulous. A real pick-me-up, which is more than I can say for the 'speciality sausage in a bun' we had to eat there.

Foodwise, things haven't been too horrific. Yes, we've eaten a few things we shouldn't have (and drunk more alcohol than we would normally consider!) but it hasn't been too bad. The scales reported 73.5kg yesterday which I'm pretty happy to accept.

One good thing to come out of this whole weight-loss journey is that I'm now absolutely convinced that full-cream milk in porridge is just not to be contemplated - it makes lovely oatmeal claggy and yucky. Looks like my fellow Celts over the border to the north had it right all along!

New Year's Eve is still to come but we don't plan anything more exotic than a quiet evening and a nice meaty oxtail casserole so it shouldn't present us with too many obstacles.

By the time this week is over, we should have started 2009 on a reasonable footing and in a good state to get back to a decent healthy lifestyle. After all, I'm still looking forward to my 'more love per square inch'!

Pooh and bah, humbug!

Just at the moment, thoughts of Christmas cheer can go away. Don't care, not interested and the fat lass don't want to play.

That buggy little beggar that I thought I'd shaken off at the end of November (or one of its close relatives) has come back to haunt me. I still don't have much of a voice (a quick peep at the lining of my throat explains why) and am coughing like an elderly diesel truck. I pretty closely resemble Rudolph in the proboscis department, I'm miserable as sin and really do not feel any semblance of goodwill to all men (or women) at this festive time of year! This has been going on since Thursday and I'm now pretty fed up.

What I do seem to want to do, is drink and, you guessed it, eat. Not that I can taste all that much (other than bloody Strepsils) but carbohydrates are of more value to me than gold, frankinsense or myrrh at the moment! And to drink? Well, thankfully herbal teas are my saviour these days, especially at 2a.m.

I'm still 'trying' to be moderate and sensible and to make as many 'good' choices as possible wherever I can, but let's just say that bread and stodge is more of a draw than the finest fruit or the most elaborate salad in the world would be right now. Not quite sure why but carbs are what I seem to want or need. If I can have intense flavours too, like garlic or chilli, so much the better.

Actually, the breakfasts (my beloved porridge) and evening meals are pretty good at the moment. It's the bits in between that are not so hot and I've slipped up a few times recently... like mince pies at break! It seems that the likelihood of that happening increases in direct proportion to the type of day I'm having at work. And guess what? Today is a Monday in every sense of the word!

Oh no, this is slipping back towards emotional eating again and really has to be brought under tighter control.

I definitely feel I need a break now. Just a few days of pampering with lovely hubby at home and then getting together with family should do the trick, I hope. Roll on Christmas Eve.

I'm not looking for an excuse and don't plan to pig-out too badly over the Christmas period but I don't think I'll be able to keep to a strict routine in the next couple of weeks. I really feel unequal to the struggle. At the moment, my weight is pretty static, back at 73kg this morning and seems to have been hovering somewhere between 72.5kg and 73.5kg over the last few weeks. Hmmm, I can live with that, as long as it doesn't rise too far over that.

I do, however, really feel the need to commit to a fresh start again in 2009. Having bought a size 12 skirt, I want to be able to wear it. Let's hit the New Year running (or rowing, if possible) in January and get that scale needle moving down, down, down!

Lovely weekend

But seriously bad on the eating front!

No way am I going to detail any of the bad things we ate - it'd just be far too embarrassing. Let's just leave it that the sensible, healthy eating plans went right out of the window. We ate far too much, and it was all the 'naughty but nice' stuff.

Yes, I'm doubtless going to pay for it with a substantial increase in avoirdupois but, hell, we really had a great time and a brilliant weekend.

Back to the fruit and water :-(

Support the Family of Colour Sergeant Dura

Not normally something I would post about but an absolutely astonishing matter came to my attention this morning.

A member of the British Armed Forces, killed in Afghanistan, is not news these days. But the treatment of his family at home in the UK, at the hands of the Home Office, beggars belief!

Read the full details here:
"It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both": The Family of Colour Sergeant Dura

Use this link to write to your MP or something. Anything, but don't let this injustice go unheard.

Down we go

Well, it was off to see the dietician last night. And I'm delighted to say that since I saw her last at the tail end of August I have indeed managed to shed another hunk of the 'orrible flab. About 7 or 8kg of it, in fact. Whooppee, that's two of us pretty happy then.

That slight vagueness about the amount I've lost is because, using the scales she has at the clinic, she thinks I weigh a little bit less than I thought I did. Quite a pleasant Christmas present to be fair, but I think I'll play safe and 'believe' the scales I have at home. I do use those regularly, after all. Either way, I'm below eleven and a half stone and staying the right side of it for the first time in years. A definite cause for celebration, eh?

So I thought I'd push the boundaries a bit and have bought a second-hand pair of size twelve jeans as my next clothes target. I can just about (but only just) squidge all the fatty bits into them at the moment. And, rather amazingly, I can get them done up without resorting to lying on my back, breathing in until I go blue and hauling on the zip with pliers. Mind you, bending, sitting down, or even breathing normally, is completely out of the question. Wear them in public? Er, no. Not quite yet, me dearie.

An aside, but to think I used to keep on wearing jeans and stuff even when they got so tight I had to do that suck, wriggle and pliers routine, during those crazy years of the diet and gain cycle. Whatever must I have looked like? Makes me cringe!

That leads me to another aside. Why do we so easily dupe ourselves about what we actually look like? And how does that work? I suppose I mean how come we don't 'see' what we 'really' look like in the same way that we 'see' the other people around us. I've spent a lot of years fooling myself that I'm 'hmmm, sort of alright' when I've actually been grossly overweight (scratch that - I really mean 'obese'!) and now find myself struggling with looking a lot more streamlined but still 'seeing myself' as (or feeling like) the Goodyear blimp!

Another little bit of good news in this season of good cheer. I was out at a committee meeting last night. For a start, it felt quite strange to be one of the slimmer people at the meeting. I'm definitely not used to that. Then, there were two plates of mince pies, mini chocolate logs, Christmas cake and other goodies in front of me... and I resisted. Actually, all I wanted was my cup of tea and then, when I got home, a satsuma was what drew me.

True, hubby and I did eat two chocolates each before we went to bed. But it was just two, and they were Belgian Leonidas chocolates (yum!). Not too long ago two choccies would have been just the start!

So, on to goals.

The next one is to get down to 70kg (a nice round 11 stone) and I think that should be achievable quite soon. OK, it may get hit by the festive frolics, but I will get there.

And, for once I'm actually looking forward to the New Year. Why? In 2009 I'll be closer to moving below that 11 stone range. Won't I be delighted when I can say to myself that I'm ten stone something!

Then, the medium-term goal is a BMI of 25. No longer 'overweight'. That'll be when I hit 10 stone 5 lbs (oh pooh - not the 10 st 7lbs the dietician told me!). Anyway, when I get there and am 'normal' you'll probably hear the 'yippee' from the other side of the globe.

And the long-term goal? Well, we'll see, but if I could stretch to below 10 stone, that'd be amazing.

The fat lass take on 'the good, the bad and the ugly'

Good stuff?
Onto the scales today and I'm down to 73kg - going in the right direction again. Yippee!

Ate my delicious porridge for breakfast, as ever made with 40:60 skimmed milk and water, then two juicy satsumas at break this morning. A fantastic (and very filling!) lunch of two small fresh multi-grain rolls with honey-roast ham (no fatty edges for me any more) and a handful of rocket. Nope, there wasn't any spread either. Then a low-fat blueberry yoghurt (the Muller one at 94 Kcal per pot).

More good = attitude. There is a box of mince pies and a box of chocolates sitting on my desk at the moment and I haven't even been tempted to take a peek.

Bad(ish) stuff?
Well, I did eat one Ferrero Rocher chocolate today - no, I didn't open that box on my desk. This was one of two left for me as a 'thank you'. The other one is still on my desk for a Friday treat.

And, as a bit of crunchy indulgence with my lunch, a bag of Ryvita sweet chilli snacks. Not too bad though as they taste quite intensely of chilli and are only 101 Kcal per bag. High in fibre too.

Ugly stuff?
Ah yes, the journey in this morning. Shivered and got soaked for 45 minutes in freezing rain at the bus stop, then a bus with no heating finally came. At least I got some exercise hopping up and down on the spot to try to keep warm. Then (just as you think it's safe...) we got stuck in heavy traffic! All in all I got to work a bit more than an hour late. It took a good part of the morning to defrost my feet too. Needless to say, the enjoyable walk didn't happen this morning, but I may give it a try tonight on my way home.

And, whilst one area of attitude is good, there is an ugly side too. I am, er, 'very unhappy' with a colleague. That's a polite euphemism for I'd cheerfully tear his throat out with my bare teeth! It feels like I'm being accused of something, and I'm less than impressed. Under other circumstances in the past I'd have headed straight for the chocolate to reduce the stress, but this time it isn't going to be that way. I am in the right here and I'm not going to let him get away with this. All together now "grrrrr"!

Getting there again?

I wrote something earlier this week but didn't post it. I'm now glad that I didn't as, when I read it back, it was so draggingly negative. I'm happier to report that today's post is going to take a more positive outlook.

Last week I was mithering about my weight and whether I'd manage to get any more off in the run up to Christmas. I even said "staying where I am is looking less likely". Well, it looks as though I got that bit right. But what the heck - it could be a helluva lot worse.

When I got on the scales on Monday I'd gone up to 73.5kg again and was none too happy. It felt especially hard as I'll be seeing the dietician next week and was hoping for a miracle. But come on! It is only a one kilo gain and I don't think it'll be too long before I can shift it again.

When I think sensibly about things, and ditch that instant emotional response of "it just ain't fair", I know last week was far from an ideal week. We ate out three times and whilst I tried to be good, you are never quite as good as you'd like to be. And, I struggled with a cold/virus thingy, which just didn't seem willing to go away. That meant I had zero enthusiasm for life in general, was dog-tired and obviously run down, achy, with a sore throat and a face full of cold sores. Oh, what a boost to one's self-esteem that is!

As a result of feeling crappy, I missed Chi Kung again too. But, most days I just about managed the physio exercises although anything else was pretty much off the cards. So, not too huge a surprise that I didn't lose anything then, eh? Or even stay the same.

This morning feels a lot more on track. It's a lovely crisp frosty winter morning here, and I actually went for a long-ish walk on the way into work to enjoy the beauty. Whilst I'm now pretty tired, I really enjoyed it.

I think I may have turned a corner and have a bit more motivation back. I can lose that extra kilo, and I should be able to lose a little more before we hit Christmas. No, it won't be my pie-in-the-sky target but that doesn't matter. What does is that I'm back to thinking positively and 'know' that I'll keep going on my journey to 'more love per square inch'.