Why?

With a startling record of lack of progress on the weight loss front these days, that's the question I've been asking myself, pretty much daily. Why?

It generally goes something like this:

• Why do I seem to sabotage myself every step of the way?
• Why do I get cracking on the exercise then let good intentions and progress slip away?
• Why do I eat more than I know I should (even if it's 'healthy' stuff)?
• Why, after all this time, am I finding this so darned hard?
• Why can't I seem to get focus back on this process and DO it?

...and a whole load of similar 'whys'!

That confounded internal critic (you know, that sneaky little blighter who takes up residence in your head and drops in snidey comments in low moments) usually pipes up with the simple answer - 'because you are rubbish'. My logical mind knows this is entirely accurate but...

Yes, I've got a lot of 'stuff' going on right now, and a whole load of uncertainties (never a comfortable place for this fat lass), but what I just cannot understand is the effect it's having. I can't seem to shake off the worries and get on with things.

However, I have made a firm committment to myself. It's pretty short and sweet.

I WILL NOT give up!

Actually, I can't give up. To do so would be to undo all the progress I've made since my obese days and I cannot face going back to the uncomfortable life I used to lead. I may not be 'progressing' in the way I'd like to, but progress can sometimes mean holding steady and managing to avoid the slide back down the slippery slope. Can't it?

So, in an attempt to stop myself beating myself up too badly, and to muzzle my mouthy internal monster, let's look back and compare now with about year ago.

June 2010
BMI 22.3 = 'Normal'
Weight 59kg
Bust 38"
Waist 27"
Hips 38.5"

April 2011
BMI 23.1 = not as good but still 'Normal'
Weight 61kg
Bust 36"
Waist 27.5"
Hips 39"

OK, it isn't great... and I'm nowhere near as fit as I was back then, but the alternative is a whole lot worse. Don't give up!