That kick in the pants is working!

Well, praise be. OK, I haven't said a lot here recently, but there's some positive news from the fat lass at last. I am managing to scrape together a little motivation and be a good girl (or, at least, a better one) again. After a little thought and head scratching, I'm using the 'carrot and stick' approach to make sure this happens.

The first part of this 'carrot and stick' is a pair of tight trousers, which I am insisting on wearing to work despite the hot, humid, sticky weather. I'd be much more comfortable in a skirt, but this is not going to happen just yet. The trousers (particularly the waistband) are definitely a very effective stick for me right now as they are not really a summer-weight material or fabric. I can assure you, a slightly soggy (be honest - sweaty), restrictive wodge of material around my fat bit is soooo not what I want to feel all day long. So, the plan is (and it seems to be working) that it reminds me, quite forcibly, that I need to shed those excess lbs... sooner rather than later!

And, to get the loss underway, I've gone back to eating proper weight-loss portions, have cut out those 'little treats' (except for fresh peas from the pod - yum!) and am back to walking with enthusiasm. I've started my morning rowing again and plan to be as active as possible at the weekend.

The other part of the cunning plan is a big, fat, juicy carrot. This orange vegetable is actually something which I'm expecting to arrive in the post in the very near future. It's a pair of long-coveted Levi jeans, in a pale stonewashed blue. I've hummed and hahed over buying a pair for quite a long time as they are silly money. But, as a target to aim for, I think they'll be worth it so I've ordered a pair with the waist size I had when I returned from holiday.

So, how are things going? Well, not desperately quickly, but at least in the right direction. I'm hovering at just a tad above 60kg at the moment (which is a whole lot better than the 62kg point I did keep seeing on the scales!). If I keep going as I am, I may be able to get down to a more satisfactory 59kg by the end of next week... with a little luck and a downwind breeze. That'd put me right back to where I was when I came home from holiday and in a great position to move on towards my next target.... those lovely Levis!

Now I feel more in control again it's affecting all aspects of life. Actually, life feels GOOD again!

Fluctuations and losing the plot

Bottoms, bottoms, bottoms... and big fat wobbly bellies, while I'm thinking about it! Sorry about that - had to get it off my chest. Er, a word of warning... there's some serious moaning coming up. Oh dear, having not written anything for a while, now this. It might be a good point to navigate away from here to some place more cheerful.

On a positive note, those blood test results came back all fine and dandy so my thyroid would appear to be firing on all cylinders. Trouble is... I'm most certainly not. So what's the problem exactly? Well, I can't really put a finger on it and that's part of the problem. I'm just not on top form at the moment. I still have no energy, feel run down (although nothing specific in the way of symptoms apart from the reappearance of cold sores!) and am constantly tired. Falling asleep at the drop of a hat seems an integral part of my life right now. Please don't tell me that it's because I'm fifty - I have no intention of 'retiring' in my head and won't accept that this is reasonable.

But, this lethargy/lack of energy is now getting to the point where it's affecting me both physically and mentally, and making me quite unhappy (OK, for this read grumpy and bloody miserable).

A point where exercise has become rather a trial, not a pleasure. I'm not even finding all that much joy in my walks at the moment. Some of the time even they're almost a chore I do because I 'ought to'. At least I am still walking but... as to anything else exercise related, nah! Firmly onto the back burner and with no foreseeable prospect of raising much enthusiasm, it would seem.

Food-wise things things have gone a bit awry too. A shame, because the weight business had seemed to have settled slightly. A bit more than a week ago I'd got back down to 60kg, which was great. Sadly, this week's weigh-in isn't quite so great. A very hectic week with my eye off the ball, followed by an indulgent weekend away (don't mention fish & chips... please) and I'm seeing 62kg on the scale again.

This is not good. I have to get myself turned around before this turns into a downward spiral. I do know that, honestly. I need to push myself to get moving again and sort out my food intake to get those lbs off.

I'm talking the talk... but I just don't seem to have the energy or enthusiasm to go for it and walk the walk too. Anyone care to give me a smart kick in the pants?

Summer delights

Yesterday I stumbled across a farm shop selling small punnets of summer soft-fruits for £1 a punnet. Some of the punnets were loganberries - wow! I haven't tasted them since I was a child, when we had loganberries growing in our garden. They were beautifully juicy and ripe and tasted amazing. Eating them brought back lovely memories to make me grin too.

You see, when I was a kid we had to fence off the produce area in our garden to prevent our wee mutt from getting in.

(I don't have a photo but he looked a little like this huggable hairy happening)

Ah, furry little thief that he was! Once he'd found his way in, and he was very adept at finding new ways, he'd happily pull off every scrap of ripe fruit from anything he could, stubby tail going nineteen to the dozen as he enjoyed (quite literally) the fruits of our labours. A dog that started the day white(ish) could quite happily be pinky-purple around the muzzle by the end of it. Yes, we were the proud (?) owners of a wannabe fruitarian mutt!

His particular favourites were the sweeter fruits - strawberries, loganberries and raspberries (and he loved trips to pick blackberries and whimberries), but he'd even have a go at the gooseberry bushes now and again. Most frustrating to see the berries begin to colour nicely, wait just another day or so in anticipation, then get there to find the dog had been at them first! The only thing safe from him was rhubarb and blackcurrants, which he hated, and apples, which were too high off the ground to reach.

He was also a brilliant ratter and an inveterate egg thief. For very good reason we didn't keep our chickens for too long once he'd joined the household. If he'd ever found a way in there... oooh!

Anyway, this time I had a whole punnet of luscious loganberries to myself for lunch. They were heavenly. Hmmm, now if they still have some on sale today...

Yo-yo

Up and down, down and up. Humph! Don't think it's worth going anywhere near my scales at the moment. Either they are going dotty in this heat, or I am (strangely enough, lovely hubby seems to get constant readings so I guess it's me). In the last four days the reading has varied between 60kg and 63kg, showing the two extremes in the space of a single day. Is it these pills? Don't know.

Whatever the reason it looks like my cherished 59kg is definitely off the cards for a while and I'm going to have to fight like hell to get it back. Oh well. Anyway, for now I give up! I will keep on exercising, keep eating sensibly and forget about the scales and weight and stuff until after this blasted wedding. It just isn't worth the jolt of elevated heart rate and increased blood pressure when I see those higher readings.

On a positive note, the heat (and I am NOT complaining about this amazing summery weather, quite the opposite!) and rather oppresive humidity means I'm none too interested in eating anything resembling a 'substantial' evening meal. And I'm going through a LOT of water. Even developed a taste for sparkling water, cold from the fridge with a slice of lemon. Cold? Ooooh - most unlike me.

To be honest, even lunches are not all that appealing so delicious summer fruits and yoghurt seem to feature on my menu most of the time. Last night I cooked up some gorgeous gooseberries (with Splenda, not sugar, to sweeten them) so a lovely low-fat, sugar-free fool made with yoghurt, not cream, is on the cards for tonight.

Today is different though. Today I have a serious treat - a delicious boiled duck egg for my lunch. Not quite hard-boiled (this was a 5-minute egg), so the yolk is buttery soft and a deep, rich yellow. We had it's mate for dinner last night, with seedy-bread 'soldiers' (no, they weren't spread with butter!) and it was amazingly good. OK, I did grind some salt on them, but this isn't a frequent event so I'll let myself off. I have to say that if I was asked to choose one dish for my last ever meal, this would be it. By the way, not all eggs are created equal. Always free-range (ever seen a battery duck?) and often organic - if you've never tried duck eggs, give 'em a go!