12 November 2008

Dodgy days - Part 2

So much for my plans and positive words yesterday. Still, as my Dad used to say when I was a nipper, "worse things happen at sea". Don't ask me why.

Today I've felt like I'm starving - permanently. That is, I've felt hungry enough to devour an elephant, nibble by elegant nibble, except with the way I've been feeling I'd probably have gobbled not nibbled! A bowl of porridge didn't stand an earthly of keeping me feeling full today I'm afraid. I ended up eating my apple early (er, actually very early - by just after 9 o'clock) and then munched a low-fat seedy bar thingy with a cuppa at 10 ish. Oh no - still hungry.

Maybe I needed to drink another cup of herbal tea or something warming, just to keep my grumbling tum to a minimum decibel level? Tried that. Didn't work.

I think it has had a lot to do with feeling generally tired, down and bluesy, and a bit under the weather today - almost like I'm starting a cold, but not quite. I guess this isn't helped much by my having had one of those 'difficult' days at work. Not that this is anything like a good honest excuse for what I did though.

I ate my lunch - that crispy, flavoursome tuna salad (with no dressing) that I mentioned yesterday and followed it with a low-fat yoghurt. Yeah, great, lovely, fine, healthy and all that - but I was still ravenous. Couldn't even contemplate a soup-in-a-cup after the last time so what could I eat now? Hmmm, the canteen was closed. No more fruit about, no low-fat seedy bars left, nothing like Ryvita to be had, not even any dried fruit in my drawer. But I wanted something, and I wanted it NOW.

This is a serious learning point for me - I must keep my emergency 'snack attack' supplies in place. That means my work fruit bowl properly topped up with apples and oranges - even when I know I'll be out for a few days, and dried berries in my drawer. A box of Ryvita is always a good plan too. But I let it all run down to nothing and, today, found myself in deep doo-doo.

So, how did I solve my 'need to eat' problem? I did the bad thing, of course, and went to the vending machine with a £1 coin. The intent was to pick up a bag of Quavers. Not a great choice, I know, but lower in calories than most of the rest of the stuff on sale. But I didn't get Quavers as the darned machine didn't have any! Just not my day, is it?

I carefully selected a bag of Frazzles instead. OK, that's still not too bad at 112 kcal, I guess, not as low-cal as Quavers but far less high in fats and calories than the other crisps on offer. Loads of salt, of course, but hey - I'll drink plenty of water.

If only I had stopped right there. You see, I also got change back from my £1. There it was, in my hand, just the right amount for a chocolate bar. You know what's coming don't you?

Yep, you guessed it. Mea culpa, the fat lass confesses, I also ate the chocolate bar (a Cadbury's Twirl, weighing in at 230 kcal) and do you know what? I enjoyed every last tinsey teeny tiny morsel. It hit that 'hunger' spot dead centre.

For once, I'm not going to feel too bad about it either and I won't beat myself up over my 'sins'. It has shut up that hunger completely and I'm actually in a far better frame of mind than I was early today. The overall damage isn't that awful and I will just make sure I'm especially careful for the next couple of days. Biscuit avoidance tactics coming right up!


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