The fat lass is back in the saddle

Two weeks down the line with the new steroid inhaler and things are beginning to look a lot more positive. My peak flow measurements are gradually creeping back up to what I'd expect and that awful hacking cough is now a rare...ish event. Don't need the 'quick relief' salbutamol inhaler anywhere near as often - thank goodness.

A fantastic week away relaxing in a cottage in the country (with a bit of walking) has done quite a lot to put me on an even keel again too. Different surroundings, great company (just me and my lovely hubby), bird-song and wildlife, a fabulous view, the chance of a lie-in, no phone, no stress and no bloody computer was just amazingly good. The walking was easier than I expected as well, albeit a lot of it was along canal-sides so flat, and we managed quite a lot, all things considered. It was a hedonisticly naughty treat to stop for a coffee and have cake whenever I felt like it too. And I felt like it a lot!

Some of the the weight has naturally enough plopped back on - I'm back up to 78.5kg - but I'm not worried as that's just what nearly a month of mimimal or no exercise and a whole week of 'bugger being careful - it's treat time' does for me. No surprises - just time to get back to doing the exercise and eating good, fresh, sensible food. Cutting down on portion sizes is probably going to be the greatest challenge now.

What's quite astonishing to me is that, while we were away, I bought a couple of skirts (the weather got rather hot for walking in jeans) and both were still only a size 16! Even better, one of them is actually a little bit slack at the waist and I actually feel like a 'normal' person wearing them - even the little denim one one which just skims my fat knees. Summer clothes are not as scary a deal as they were this time last year. Who knows, by this time next year I could be in a... wait for it... sun-dress!

Since we got home I've been back to my Chi Kung class (oooh, me poor shaky legs!), done some abs exercises for the last two days and got on the rower for the first time this morning. Only 300 strokes and none too quick, but progress indeed. What's more, tonight will see a return to the gym. Way-hey, the fat lass is finally back at it.

OK, I give in

I just don't feel like me anymore and I'm hating it. Time for action!

For all I've said about me 'coping' with the bloody asthma, I've obviously been fooling myself and I've now just about had enough. Enough of coughing, rattling and wheezing like a ninety-year old who has smoked sixty Capstan a day since before the war, of waking up coughing in the night (so that's two of us not sleeping), of not exercising and generally feeling sluggish and unenergetic. It's off to the GP tonight, and whatever he suggests (steroid or no) I'll go with... gratefully!

I'm desperate to get back to my walking - not just the wheezy struggle from the closest bus stop to work. Hubby had only just begun to ask me to slow down when we were out walking together and now we are right back to me asking him to wait for me. I'm missing Chi Kung, my sessions at the gym, and I even want to wake again at 5a.m. and get on the rower to start my mornings off. I have no energy for any of it and I do not want to be this way.

I want to get back to eating and enjoying our 'proper' food, with lots of real fresh vegetables and flavour, for goodness sake. We've consumed (I can't even say 'eaten') a variety of assorted pre-prepared crap recently - no, I've been shovelling it down - since I haven't tasted much anyway and cooking seems like one big pain in the proverbial.

I want the needle on my bathroom scales to move away from the apparently sticky line at 77kg. I want to see it settle below 12 stone... and then keep going down. I've worked for it, so I want to be 11 stone something, and I want it soon!