19 December 2014
Yep, it's time to raise a glass, see this beautiful world through seasonally rose tinted spectacles and, as my sweet Mum would have gently chided me, to count my blessings. Lori made a very sensible (and timely) suggestion that I look back through older posts. So I have done just that and, a little like Scrooge, trawling back through Decembers past has made me think.
Thanks too to Nikki for a lovely positive comment.
First off, this year won't be like 2007 when I had not long started on my journey, but was still a decidedly 'large' lady. Slowly improving for sure, but with oh such a looong, long way still to go.
This Christmas, unlike 2008, I'm happy to report that the fat lass is definitely in the pink, as in not ill (which was not fun at all by the look of it).
I'm still, like I talked about in 2009, very grateful to follow the progress of you lovely people out there in blogland - you still don't know how much support you've all been to me... and continue to be. Bless you all!
And although I'm maybe struggling a little bit, it's nothing like 2010 when I'd held just about steady but had been struggling hard to do so and was obviously pretty unhappy about it. Even the gammy knees are holding up reasonably well for a fifty-five year old ex-fat lass.
I'm delighted to realise that I'm still holding fast to my coping strategies for Christmas social events (laid out in detail in 2011) and they still work for me. I even have an open box of mince pies on my desk as a festive treat for other people to enjoy, and they don't tempt me at all - not least because I have a little box of fresh coconut pieces to nibble (hey, there's no contest Mr Kipling!).
Though I'll miss her terribly (this year and always) I won't be fretting about my darling Mum this Christmas. I'm comforted by knowing that she's in a far, far better world where she's warm, pain-free, loved and cared for forever by the Lord she relied upon and also, I think, reunited with my lovely Dad who she missed so badly after she lost him. This contrasts sharply with other years, particularly 2012 when worrying about her was at the forefront of my mind. I have a beautiful Christmas tree with pretty lights in our lounge, to keep her much-loved traditions alive, and I'm hearing carols in the shops without bursting into tears this year (er, usually).
Speaking of 2012, I still fit into and regularly wear 'those' jeans, the selfsame ones that caused me a bit of angst when I wore them to work, prompting unwelcome comments from a colleague. That means that despite all my fussing and mithering about a squidgy bit at the waistband, I'm actually still (physically) pretty close to a place that I'd worked hard to get to and was really very happy with. Yes, things (I'm talking to you, belly) could be firmed up a bit, but they will be when I finally do get back to Connie's ministrations.
And last year? Well, I'm VERY happy not to have a re-run of the events preceding and covering Christmas 2013. I don't really even like to think too much about it, and I daresay lovely hubby would second that!
So, take that Black Dog - life is GOOD and I have many blessings to count. I have a short break away with my darling lovely hubby to look forward to, and we plan lots of cuddle time and a seafood spectacular for the three days we're near the coast. The 'R' is in the month so oysters here we come!
Have a super Christmas everyone, and see you all in 2015. I think it's going to be a great year. Onwards, ever...
15 December 2014
So where am I right now? Well, a school report would probably say something like 'acceptable, but could do better' (actually, as a kid mine used to say things like 'could try harder' quite a lot).
My weight remains pretty stable, floating between 54kg and 55kg so that's OK. Mind you, it does seem a bit of a struggle to keep it in this range at times. If I'm honest, I'd prefer to be sitting in the 53-54kg range, but I don't quite seem able to hang onto this at the moment, even when I do get there. I think the fitness part feeds into this...
Fitness has taken a decided turn for the not so good - I'm not the woman I was. Hmmm, nor the one I want to be. The lack shows a bit too much for my liking, and my shape is oh so definitely not what I'd prefer to see. The waist size I'd expect at my current weight is not, repeat not, what I actually see. In fact, it seems to be a half- to one whole inch larger than it 'ought' to be, and that increase is a flabby one. Now I'll admit that I never have a flat tummy (my perennial leftover kangaroo pouch sees to that!), but I appear to have a new and unwelcome squidgy bit just above the waistband of my jeans - pooh!
(in some ways this makes me giggle, when I think back to the bad old days when the very thought of wearing jeans seemed an impossible dream)
I need to get back to my daily stints on Connie the rower (sorry babe, I've missed you). I need to get back to the abs work too. I plan to do both... but life seems to have ganged up on me to foil my feeble efforts. The course didn't help (oooh, but it's been one hectic month and I'd quite forgotten the stress of exams!) and now the run up to the festive season has set a nice series of obstacles for me too.
Still, I used to be able to figure a pathway through stuff like this... so why can't I do this now? Grrr!
OK, I'll take what positives I can from this - I'm 'alright'. But I want to be better, and I know that it's do-able. Guess I need to, as Nike so often tell us, just do it!