28 March 2013
This morning, a very kind, thoughtful work colleague brought me a Cadbury's Creme Egg to celebrate Easter. Now I probably wouldn't go out and buy one of these myself, especially these days, and I haven't eaten one in years, but I do remember that I used to rather like them.
I was really touched as it was such a lovely thought, and quite unexpected. My reaction amazed me - I found myself unusually tempted and 'almost' began to unwrap it as, for a moment or two when he placed it gently on my desk, my usual low-carb aided resolve wobbled.
So, after he'd safely gone off to his own office, I gave myself a stern talking to. Then I stroked the egg in it's shiny tin-foil coat and wished it a fond farewell.
I did the decent thing and passed on my egg to another colleague who has two little girls at home. He had mentioned that the girls liked creme eggs just a day or so ago so I don't feel too guilty. Er, nor too much like a sugar pusher... although it did cross my mind that I might be doing the wrong thing here and I should have quietly binned it instead. However, the good point is that not a morsel passed my lips. Good fat lass!
Happy Easter, and onwards ever....
18 March 2013
Oh well, I know that March is generally a month of mixed weather, even in a 'good' year (remember that old 'lions' and 'lambs' weather lore?), and it has certainly been pretty changeable around here recently.
I don't know about you, but I find that the prevailing weather conditions are fairly closely linked to my state of mind lately. And, this seems more the case these days than it's ever been - another sign that the fat lass is getting long in the tooth? I find that on the (all too rare of late!) sunny days my spirits rise and I feel more engaged with the day and more willing to make positive steps to maintain and improve my health.
Conversely, on days like yesterday, when it rained and rained and rained some more and never appeared to actually get properly light, I was miserable as all heck. It would have been quite easy to disentangle myself from reality, hibernate somewhere warm and cozy and head for the comfort foods. Thankfully, I had 'things to do' so got on with it, and since moving to low-carb life we don't really keep many of those old standby 'comfort' foodstuff around so that wasn't really an option either. Saved by pure serendipity.
Thanks to the rain, and the constantly waterlogged state of the land, this morning we woke to the return of the dreaded flooding, added to which there was frost (oooh, it felt decidedly nippy out) and quite thick fog, so I was a serious grump first thing. Now, just a few hours later, the sun has been shining so I felt more settled again. In fact, I actually looked forward to getting out at lunchtime today.
Now the clouds are rolling in again and, my mood is shifting to a darker shade once more. The forecast keeps changing, so I don't feel that I can predict how the next few days will go. It makes me kind of unsettled - almost a feeling of not being quite in control, in a funny sense, and I don't feel comfortable being this way. I feel like a weather vane - just reacting to the elements.
I need to find a way to change this and make myself more consistent, regardless of what's going on outside my window. I think it's time to consider setting myself a tangible goal. I don't want to lose any more weight though, so I'm just not sure yet what shape that should take. Time to get my thinking cap dusted off.
11 March 2013
The fat lass isn't happy. The reasons are manifold, but top of my grumpy list is the return of the cold weather. Just when the spring flowers were starting to emerge and show their pretty heads, we get the arctic blast and a return of snow (albeit only flurries so far, thank goodness). Oh boy, I do so want spring to arrive, and I'm getting increasingly desperate to see some extended periods of sunshine... guess I'll have to wait a bit longer.
Work isn't exactly the happiest place to be right now, with stuff going on which is a bit worrying - not for me directly, but certainly with some pretty serious repercussions. On the emotional front, there are still family issues going on too, so that isn't doing much to cheer me either. Adding to that, I couldn't be with my Mum for Mother's Day and that smarts a bit.
And the other reason for my blue meanies and miseries is that I'm still not over this damn bug and it feels to have been with me for way too long. I couldn't put hand on heart and say that I'm 'ill' exactly, but I'm just not 'OK' yet. I feel tired all the time, generally run down and apathetic, lacking in energy and enthusiasm and, especially in the mornings, I'm still just a little achy. And this 'not OK' stuff is reflected in my peak flow readings.
They did, quite understandably, hit the floor during the worst of the bug, but although they've come back up a little bit, they are still (at around only 400 l/min) well below my 'normal' levels. Silly, maybe, but maintaining decent PEF values is something I take a (perverse?) pride in. Some of this drop in value is down to a continued reduction in activity levels I guess. I can't face Connie yet and even my walking (which I am still keeping up) isn't being done with my usual gusto.
Before the looming black dog takes over completely I've got to look for some golden nuggets of positivity in life, so here goes. The good news I can dig out is that my weight remains stable, that I have a wonderful lovely hubby, and that my beloved curly kale is still in season... er, but not necessarily in that order.
Ah well, onwards ever...